Satisfied|| Angelica Schuyler

Five

tw//suicide, mention of blood, scary sort-of

a/n might be a bit confusing. bold/italicized are memories. Just italicized is not.

When Oddessa woke that morning, there was an unbearable pain in her chest, worse than any other morning she's had. She thought of the events that occurred four weeks before. She hadn't been holding up well at all. Drunk during the day. Crying herself to sleep every night.

 All she wanted was Angelica. She wanted to hold her hand again, even if it wasn't in that way. She wanted her embrace. She reached out to speak to Angelica. Angelica was distant, detached you could say. She refused to look Oddessa's way. When Oddessa would join conversation suddenly she had nothing to say. She no longer sent letters. She'd stopped loving loving Oddessa and everyday Oddessa seen her from afar wishing to be good enough.Everyday Oddessa broke a little more. Every bad night she's ever was now flashing back to her. 

Blood, blood, blood. 

On her hands. That's all she could see was the deep red of Phillip that night. She could see his blank face and a bullet through his head. She knew it wasn't real but it didn't help. She wanted it to go away. To make it stop. 

"Stop...No. Stop it! STOP STOP GO AWAY!" She screamed angrily pulling her hair. 

Suddenly a cluster of unwanted memories came flooding back. First when she lost her parents. She stood and paced the room.

"Mommy? Is daddy coming home?" Seven year old Oddessa tugged on her mothers dress.

"Yes my dearest dessy. I'm going to get him alright?" Her mother replied softly bending down to capture her daughter's face in her hands lovingly. Oddessa leaned into her mother's warm hand.

"You go on. Get in to bed and when you wake up we'll have your favorite meal on the table before you know it. How's that sound?" Rain spoke with a smile on her face. 

Oddessa got excited and shook her head frantically, adoring the smile on her mother's face. She had always looked up to Rain. She simply couldn't believe that her mom wasn't a princess, she sure did love reading about those princesses in far away lands with fairies and ninja. Her dad always twisted the stories making sure to add in other cultural aspects to it. Such as the ninja arts. 

Her mom gave her a quick peck before turning her around and nudging her towards her room.

"Get a good night sleep. I love you petal," Her mother called after her chuckling softly at the little girl who was snuggling under the blankets at this point. 

"I love you too mommy," Oddessa whispered before she drifted off into her land of being a princess by day and a ninja by night.

When Oddessa woke up the next morning, she wasn't in her bed. She rubbed her sleepy eyes confused. She realized she was in Mr.Hamilton's study. She was asleep on the cot he kept in here specially for her. It was something about this room that kept her comfortable. Maybe it was the way the smell of books flourished through the air. The heat hit the room just right. Not too warm, not too cold. She breathed in deeply a sense of calm filled her chest before she smiled. 

Her freckled, chubby face suddenly dropped the smile and replaced it with a grin. She figured she must be over at Mr.Hamilton's place so they could all have a get together for her dad! She ran down the hall quickly looking to see if Angelica was here. She blushed before running into the kitchen screaming at the top of her lungs.

"DADDY!" She busted in with her arms in the air and light in her eyes. 

Only to see Mr and Mrs. Hamilton with their heads in their hands sobbing violently. Her smile dimmed but she tipped over to them anyway. Mrs. Hamilton pulled her into her lap and cuddled her closely. 

"Oh dessa," She cried. She had to get it over with or she wouldn't say it at all. Oddessa was confused as to what was going on but hugged Eliza back closely.

"Mommy and daddy got into an accident last night. T-They didn't make it,"Eliza said so softly that poor Oddessa almost didn't hear.

"Well that's bad, but can't we just go see them? They're in the hospital right?"Oddessa wondered aloud, disappointed about not being able to see her mother and father right away. 

At least I'm lucky to see them at all, she thought.

"No baby. They died," Mr. Hamilton spoke up coming behind Eliza. 

Oddessa whispered no to herself for a good five minutes before breaking out of Eliza's hold and running away. Out of the house and to the one person she needed the most.

Angelica. 

Oddessa fell to her knees at the memory. She banged her hands on the floor repeatedly busting her knuckles open. Blood everywhere all over again. She kept going trying to feel some kind of pain that would distract her from the unforgiving storm in her head. She blanked for a moment stopping her actions to crawl her way to the kitchen, where her alcohol was at.

She opened the cabinet only to find the bottle empty. She growled in frustration and smashed the bottle into pieces using the top to guide her as she pointed through the house, tears blurring her vision and clouding her mind. She stepped onto the glass without flinching, the bone chilling crunch under her feet as blood slowly started to seep from the wounds. Her blank face never ceasing. 

She trudged to the bathroom before stopping in the hallway and blanking out again.

"C'mon Dessa give it back!!" Angelica screeched with laughter leaping towards Oddessa to grasp the ink dipped quill.

Oddessa laughed and pulled it away from Angelica's hold and holding it higher, knowing Angelica was still smaller than her. Angelica smiled to herself and gave Oddessa's cheek a big kiss. Oddessa was left stunned and Angelica pulled away in satisfaction also grabbing the quill going back to her drawing peacefully humming a tune.

Odessa touched her face and smiled pulling Angelica into a hug.

"There's a reason I call you Angel instead of Angelica."

Oddessa zoned in again continuing her slow pace to the restroom. She finally made it throwing the broken bottle handle at the mirror shattering her reflection. She chuckled humorlessly, it was the only thing that matched her feelings. She stared at herself for a while longer not recognizing the girl in the mirror. She ran the water letting it fill to the brim before grabbing a set of well needed pills for migraines. These were her strong ones. The ones that make her knock out after half a pill. She let the cold water embrace her as she dipped in.

She layed her head back and rested it against the cold marble of the tub.

Angelica sat with Oddessa listening to the soft piano play, the tune carrying itself out of the neighbor's house and to theirs sneaking through the rugged window and sweeping across the room. It was a beautiful melody. Sad but truthful. It told words that nobody could speak. 

Oddessa placed the pills in her hand.

Angelica played with Oddessa's hands.

She tipped her head back swallowing most of them.

Angelica slid her fingers through hers.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Goes her heartbeat. 

Angelica turned her face towards Oddessa's.

thud. thud. thud. the beating gets slower.

"I love you."

"I love you too my dearest Angel."

silence.

-h.x