I couldn't let this happen again. But what am I supposed to do? I have nowhere to go now. I have to go with him. At least until I get back on my feet.
"Nick I'll go with you. Just don't get any dumbass ideas."
"Okay, Ben. I would do anything for you, your my friend."
I knew he wanted to say one and only. He just, he just seems different. He seems like he wants me back. He's changed, a lot. I can tell from his eyes. I don't judge by people's smile anymore. They're eyes is what you need to look at. Nick seems broken. But he just started to mend when he saw me. Maybe I can fake it. No, that's wrong. Very wrong. But I can't overthink this. Just go with him.
I got in the car and i buckled my seatbelt.
"Hey, sorry about everything, can we just be friends?" I said.
"Yeah, it's all cool."
I could almost read his mind. It was saying love. 1,000 percent sure. I just can't deal with this right now, but how do I let him down again? wait. What am I saying. He let ME down. Why should I spare his fucking feelings?
Nicks POV
He's pondering. Probably about me and how I let him down. Why can't he just let go of that and get on with his life? What a loser. But I love him.
We made it back to my place, and he just immediately busted through the door and locked himself somewhere probably.
Bens POV ( sorry about the switching in point of views, not feeling creative today )
I locked myself in the torture chamber. It was underground and only i know about it. It was going to be my Christmas present to him. I saw all the handcuffs & chains hanging on the walls and had flashbacks to my punishments. I just can't think about them anymore. It's just too painful.
I heard his faint voice calling for me, but I didn't feel like coming out. All the memories flashing in my head blocked out his voice. I was numb, I couldn't feel. How did my life shred into pieces this quick? How did it all come to this? If none of it would've happened, Nick & I would still be together and happy. And maybe have kids. But no.
Then, a little voice popped up in my head.
If you miss him so much, why not take him back? He obviously wants you back now, and he has definitely changed. Just take him back.
Then, another voice came.
No, he's a lying cuntbag. Why take him back? Your getting stuck in your head. Listen to your instincts.
I just had to choose a voice.
I can't get back on my feet for awhile. How am I supposed to stand up for myself?
I just can't choose right now.
I went over to the bed and layed on it, and i almost instantly drifted into sleep.
3 hrs later.
I woke up, yawning and rubbing my eyes.
Ugh, how long had I been asleep?
I rested my head on the pillow. I remember the dream I had. It was about the decision.
wait. hold on.
i know now.
I know what I'm picking.
I know now.
