JOURNEY

The Beginning

It was not always this way...I started out trying to escape my life when all of sudden,everything hit me.

I said to myself why not I sit and try to write about it? Which was indeed one of the hardest thing ever decided to do.

Well you see, I never choose to be a writer but suddenly there's a feeling where I want to tell a part of my life .

I dove in my head first, not knowing what I was doing. At all. I was not able to release my anger, frustration, sadness and every motion under the sun or even the moon . I dont care what people would say if my grammar or structure was off .

The only thing that I cared most right now was my story , what was on the page and how I expressed all of my emotions so that you could visualize or maybe feel what I feel and make you wanting to read more

Some people lived in a fantasy world and some of them lived in a real world . And I am one of them . At the age of eight , I have been seduced into a life that tore my conviction and my soul but also make me become the person I am now .

It was all started on July 2008 . I was only eight years old by that time . The wind blew feom east to west across the river and big trees that surrounded my residence . Despite the sun is risen from the east , casting back shadows and the wind still carried the last trace of a cold night . I was shivered and pull my blanket tighter around my neck . I could hear my mom was shouting my name from downstairs asking me to get up . School .

I woke up and took my towel, slowly walked down the stairs as I was mumbling

"I dont want to go to school today ."

I put on my school uniform and I tie up my hair in a ponytail . It was the same routine but that day , it was not like the days before . I was looking for a my dad as I took my breakfast and there he was , sitting infront of the TV . He was sweating like he just came out from the sauna .

"Pa, what's wrong ? Are you okay ? Do you feel hot?" I asked him .

He was smilling . I still remembered the way he smiled . That smile was trying to explain that he was good . That there was nothing wrong with him .

"Nothing is wrong with me . Im just feeling a bit warm here , that's all . So are you done ? Let's go ." , he said as he was holding my hand and walked out from the house .

Everyday , I witnessed  the same thing that happened to him . He sweats . And everytime I asked him why, he will looked at me in the eyes and said his favourite word , nothing . He lied . He lied to me but he have a good reason to lied.  He dont want his little girl to worried about him . I was only eight at that time . How do I knew that he lied ? And what do I knew about this life ? This big world ? Nothing , zero .

One day , he can't stand it anymore . His head hurt too much . His body hurt too much . It seemed like everything was hurt to much . He kept his eyes closed , praying probably for the pain to disappeard but still he was in pain. He told my mom that he felt weak . He told her that he was not himself .

When they arrived at the hospital , the doctors were all shocked when they asked my mom who drove the car and she said " It is my husband ." The doctors scolded my father for his action because he was half paralysed when he was driving.  He could die !

*to be continue*