If you looked around the Smosh Games Headquarters during a Game Bang, everything would seem okay. Matt Sohinki would be schooling everyone, no matter what game it was. Mari Takahashi would probably be in last place, but smiling. David Moss, aka Lasercorn, would be pulling out his raptor claws at any given moment. Joshua Ovenshire, or Joven, or Jovenshire, if you were one of his close friends, would be making an inappropriate comment about whatever it was they were discussing. Ian Hecox would be making ‘Iancorn’ jokes, and Anthony Padilla would be chatting aimlessly about Nintendo games, even if they weren’t playing them.
Today was no different. They had played WWE ’13 again, this time as divas. The teams had been Marhinki, Lasershire, and Ianthony. This combination just happened to be a lot of peoples’ favorite and many were pleased.
However, appearances can be very deceiving and as Ian walked up the front steps to his house, he thought about how fucked up everything was now.
He slumped onto his sofa, face down, biting his lip and sighing.
Being that close to Anthony today, Ian thought to himself, it just about killed me. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
With that, his phone buzzed and he rolled his eyes. When he pulled it out of his jeans pocket, he saw that it was Melanie calling. That was probably the one and only thing that could make him smile on such a horrible day. Strangely enough, that one thing was a call from his ex-girlfriend.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hey Ian,” she said, “what’s the matter?”
Ian just about chuckled at Melanie’s ability to read him so very well. “Oh nothing,” he replied, “we just shot a game bang, is all.”
“You saw Anthony, I presume?” She said, and Ian cursed her for knowing exactly what was wrong.
Ian smiled sadly. “Yeah. And David.”
“Well, who’d you team up with?” she prodded.
“Anthony,” he replied.
As if she didn’t know the answer, Ian thought to himself, I wouldn’t be so broken up if it were David.
“Figured,” she replied, “were you in the punishment?”
“No,” he answered, sitting up, “David and Josh were.”
“But you’re not upset about that,” Melanie stated, “you’re not upset at all that your ex-boyfriend had to do something provocative with someone else, right?”
Ian chuckled. Honestly, it kind of felt like Melanie had been there with him, living through minute after agonizing minute he had to spend with Anthony.
Melanie continued. “You’re upset that the boy you actually love and can’t be with was so close, right?”
Ian nodded, knowing full well that she couldn’t see him. “You know me too well, I’m afraid, Mel.”
He could picture her grinning on the other side of the phone.. “Dating someone for seven years can do that,” she said.
Ian grimaced. “Yeah, I-”
“Don’t worry about it, Ian,” Melanie said quickly, “that’s not what I called to talk about.”
“What’d you call to talk about, then?” Ian asked, furrowing his brow.
Melanie hesitated. “I just...What if someone suddenly decided that they weren’t bisexual?”
Ian thought he knew exactly what she was talking about. “So, you’re just straight now?”
