IT NEVER HAD TO BE THIS WAY

ONE

It's been a year since it all happened . I remember the screams , the cries and the pain as though it all happened a week ago . Sometimes I think that might be it was just my imagination or some horror film being played in my head over and over again , but reality kicks in when I see him walk past me every single day . It's never been the same from that day ,I could never get over the deadly past . It's been a year and I am still trying , always trying,  to forget it . It's February the 18th, a day I will never forget, a day that changed me .
I live with my grandparents it's just the usual fake smiles, kind words and then there's the freedom of school, well not exactly . School is just a distraction , an escape from the reality , from the past .
School was just the usual , there was a new guy at school he seemed kind of sweet until he walked over to my table at lunch to shake hands and to introduce himself . One , I don't like physical contact , two , I suck at introducing myself . Instead of saying "Hi, I am Christina . Pleased to meet you " . I said " Sorry , the table is occupied " . The new guy sat at the table to my right . He din't seem offended at all and I started feeling guilty for being so rude to him . Well no time for that , the guy I wish I'd never see again in my life walks in . Marc . One of the coolest guys in school , but no one knows what happened , not even my best friends , not even my parents , no one other than the two of us . It's a secret I wish no one knew . He was my best friend once , but now there's nothing that I feel towards him other than hatred . I start to fidget nervously with my top . I consciously look around to see if anyone has noticed the fear and anxiety on my face but everyone seems busy with their own work . Everyone ,except for the new boy . He's staring straight at me . He removes the cap from his head and places it on the table in front of him .He points at his cap - it says Mike in big bold letters ,and he waves me over to occupy the seat next to him and for some reason this makes me smile . I relax little bit . I go sit next to him " hi I am Mike " he says , he let his hand rest on the table for now , out where I can see it .  "that's pretty obvious" I say , pointing towards his bright red cap . He smiles at me and moves a bit closer as if we are in on a secret and says " that's my lucky charm " . From this close his features are even more attractive . His eyeballs are the shade of brown that you would find in the richest box chocolates and his hair is the same shade as his eyes, his lips are shaped to perfection , so smooth and pink .He looks strong despite his soft features. He catches me staring at him and he stares back at me trying to take in my face , a smile dancing at the edge of his lips . He stretches his hand out for me to shake , and I do .