The love, the hate, and the beautiful

My First Love

I don't know what it is about you

that keeps me running back to you

over and over again.

Maybe it is the way

you look at me.

Or maybe it's how you make me feel.

You make me feel important

and worth loving.

But even though you make

me feel this way

I know that we weren't meant to be.

We fight constantly

over stupid and irrelevant things.

Our relationship is toxic

but you fail to see that.

Why can't you just open your eyes

and realize that we're just too different

and it's best to go our separate ways?

You tell me that if I wasn't stubborn

and just gave you all of me,

we wouldn't be in this mess.

But its not just me

that's causing issues.

I try to tell you where I stand,

but you seem deaf to my words.

I do love you, so much.

And I think that's the main reason why

we keep going around in circles

with each other.

We love each other too much

to see the real issues between us.

I don't know what to do anymore.

My head tells me one thing,

but my heart tells me another.

And I am so sick and tired

of doing things to make you happy,

but it makes me hate myself.

I can't take all of the fighting

and going around in circles anymore,

it's just too much for me to handle.

I am done with you for good.

And I'm giving up on us.

I'm not giving up

because I don't love you.

I'm giving up because

I don't love myself anymore.

So this is goodbye, for good.

I will always love you,

and I will keep you in my heart.

You were and always will be

my first love.

Even though your love was like a drug.

A drug that will slowly killing me inside.