Brothers best friend|| Joey birlem fanfic

Shes back

She came back
She came back
She came back
She came back
She came back
She came back
She came back

She doesn't have a name.

She makes me feel fat.
She made me believe I'm fat.
She makes me feel sad.
She tells me bad memories to make me sad.
She makes me feel too tall.
She made me believe I'm to tall.
She makes me feel ugly.
She made me believe I'm ugly.

She was here before.

When I was little I looked in the mirror and she told me I was ugly.
That's when I started believing it.

When I was little I looked in the mirror she told me I was to skinny.
that's when I started eating lots, and got fat.

When I was 11-12 she told me I was to fat.
I stopped eating.
When I was 11-12 she told me I was ugly.
I cut my wrist.
When I was 12 1/2 she left I was finally happy!
And ate and became clean!

I turned 13...

~1-2 months passed~
She came back.
She told me I was ugly.
I cut my thigh.
1
2
3
4
5
She told me I was slow in school.
I hid a blade in the girls washroom,
Every time I'm slow in school...
I cut my thigh.

After school..

I was mad at her.
So I cut her on the right upper arm,
A couple times.

She told me I was fat and carved it on my right upper arm,
And my right thigh.

She told me if some one asked I was ok,
I should reply " I'm fine" so she made me
Carve it In my skin 3 times
Fine

Fine

Fine

She told me no one loves me so I carved a heart in my thigh.

<3

I look in the mirror and she told me I was ugly
Your ugly
Your ugly
Your ugly
Your ugly
She made me believe it.
I started crying cause I was so ugly.
I took my blade...

Ugly

Right on my thigh.

She convinced me it was horrible with my dad, it would be horrible with my mom, it would me horrible with my Kokums.
I had no were to live so took my blade to my thigh,
And carved a little house.

After convincing her to leave she did. I was happy but damaged.

~few weeks ago~

She came back.
She came back.
She came back.
She came back.
She came back.

She told me I was ugly.
I believe her.

She told me I was to tall.
I believe her.

She told me I'm to fat.
I believe her, so after I eat she
Always makes me feel like I'm going to puck up what I ate.
She's making me slowly stop eating..

The sad part is that this girl is me.
I collected all the insults and names and put them in a box
And created this girl that shouts them at me.
She became to have a mind of her own and
Tell me different stuff
And made me do different stuff.

I want her to leave
But then again I don't want her to leave.
She has conversations with me
When nobody wants to talk to me
When someone yells at me or makes me
Feel bad or when someone says
" you don't know how they/that feels"
Then In my head she snaps back and makes this whole speech just to make me
Feel good/better. She's my real best friend, but
I just have a really unhealthy relationship with her.

I'm just scared cause I don't know what her next move would be, and plus I've been clean for a month.😕