empty (matthew's pov)

the end.

i have guilt. nothing but guilt. that i have to live with daily. knowing that i killed mia dallas.

she was getting better, i could see it.

she never ever smiled.

she never spoke to anyone, besides her brother.

but i could see over time, her smile would light up the room, her laughter would be like music to your ears.

but it was pathetic how someone so beautiful and talented i feel, would hurt themselves like that.

what if i turned out like that because of her?

•
•
•

"matthew" i looked up, britney stood there, "can we do something?" she asked. "like?" i asked, standing up. she shrugged. "there's a lot to do." she smiled.

"i'm trying not to be a father at 18. i just graduated. i want a family when i'm like 30" i rolled my eyes, pushing past her.

i had no one to hang out with, everyone hated me. i mean i understand why.

•

"How about smoothies?" i asked, Getting into my car. "Sure, I've actually never had one" she said. i looked at her, "YOU'VE NEVER HAD A SMOOTHIE?!" i screamed. she nodded. "Well today you're trying one" i said, Backing out of the driveway.

"Whatcha want?" i asked her. mia looked up at the menu. "A banana smoothie" she answered. i nodded and got her one. she thanked me and waited at a table for me.

"Here ya go" i said, Sliding into the booth, Handing her a Banana Smoothie. "Thank youu" she stretched out the U. i chuckled and smiled. i went on my phone and started drinking my smoothie. "You like it?" i asked, Chuckling. she nodded.

•

that was the first we actually hung out. and then after that we went to my favorite place which was the old fountain.

•

"Where are we going Matt?" she asked, i was covering her eyes and holding her hand so she wouldn't bump into anything. "We're almost there" i answered. she groaned and i let go of her hand. i uncovered her eyes. "A fountain?" she asked. i nodded. "Why?" she asked. "Cause, It's old." k answered. mia laughed a little and sat on the edge. i sat next to her. mia's phone buzzed.

•

i should've never said those things to her. about how she should've cut deeper and hopefully she would get what she wanted, to die.

•

i grabbed her wrist, The cut one. "You should just keep doing this" i snapped, squeezing her wrist. "Just cut deeper and your wish would come true" i said through gritted teeth, i gripped tighter, "M-Matt your hurting me" she mumbled. "You'll be gone like everyone wants. No one will care!" i yelled and let go, Pushing her back and leaving.

•

i'm a terrible person.

i should've never done that. no one should ever have to go through that. and no one should ever be like me.

on the back of the note she gave me, mine was different.

i'm Mia Dallas and i haven't always been strong. i'm the quiet type. The shy girl that no one liked. i would constantly go home and take all the pain away. i did truly realize that i was officially done until i met you, Matthew Espinosa.

i thought you would be the reason i would want to stay alive, the reason i would still be here, the reason i could have a family.

i always wondered 'what if matthew and i started a family?' or 'how far would matthew and i make it?'

not far. you used me. you didn't think of me like that, you thought of me as a freak once you got to know me.

maybe i could've still been alive if you never saw my cuts, because you wouldn't know about them and you would've kept me strong from every thing that britney had done to me.

i could've forgot that she slammed my fingers in my locker door the first day, and that i kicked her in the knee for it, thinking it would make things better.

how i told you she hated me since freshman year.

but no. you told me that you would fix me, even if you were the one who broke me.

but then you turn around and say you don't want to be the one to fix a freak.

but now that i am gone. and people know that it was you.

i hope you feel the pain i did matthew. the neglect from no one liking you, besides one person. how you have no friends. you feel like you would be gone.

the only person who i liked and liked me was cameron, my brother.

and the only person who will like you is britney.

the arrogant bitch. she thinks she better than everyone. but she's not.

you two will be known as the couple who killed mia dallas.

and if i could, i would.

i would turn around with the knife you stabbed into my back and hand it to you, because then you could use it how i did. against my arms.

but i wouldn't. because i'm not you. i wouldn't tell you to cut yourself. i would tell you to use it on someone else. because once you're a bully, you'll always be known as a bully.

but anyways.

you were my escape.

but now, you're the reason i'm empty.

~mia dallas.

a/n:
wow. this is truly the end.

i want to thank all of you who read 'my escape' it's at 30k now. and it's only been a year. i can't imagine how far it'll be by next year.

this book is very important to me.

i wrote it when i was suffering from depression.

and how people can be to others.

you are not alone if you suffer from depression or anxiety or anything like that.

and there will be people who will come into your life and act out and turn around and leave. and those type of people are the worst.

it has happened to me countless times and i don't know why people do that, i wish i did so i could help a even further distance. but i cannot.

but this book series has finally come to an end, and i'm so thankful for every single one of you who has read it.

i've had writers block with a lot of my stories and including on what to write. so i'm sorry if it's all over the place.

but it's about his guilt of what he did and how she wanted to make him feel like how she did.

but as i always say,

stay lovely💕