Accidental Call

Chapter 2

I leaned softly against the wooden cabinets, holding the small bottle of pills in my hand.

This is what I wanted. Right? My mind was spinning as I questioned my judgement.

Of course it was. I was worthless, no one wanted me. God, I can't even remember the last time I had a friend or a person to talk to nonetheless. I'm going to die some day and I'm tired of waiting. Why not just shorten the wait?

I slowly lifted the pills to my mouth, a little unsure. At the same time, my head tilted backwards voluntarily. The small white pills brushed against my lips. I was nervous and my body was shaking. I started crying, my emotions flowing.

A loud buzz had sounded, making my body jump.

My phone which had been sitting on the countertop was buzzing, signaling a call. The pills fell from my hand in surprise.

"Will you just let me die!" I screamed at the device.I scooped up the pills and held them up to my mouth again. I tried to ignore the buzzing but it  was distracting and I couldn't focus. Why couldn't I just swallow the damn things?

Regardless, I answered the phone.

"Hello?" I whispered angrily.

"Hey Louis!" I heard a british voice chirp on the other end. The joy in his voice was overwhelming.

"Who's this?" I asked curiously, looking down at the floor tiles.

"Harry." He paused. "Wait, who is this?" I heard Harry question me.

"It shouldn't matter what my name is.... By the end of this night, it'll not exist for me."

"Wait...what are you doing?" I heard the tentative voice on the other line say.

"It doesn't matter okay? I don't matter, what I am doing doesn't matter, and this call doesn't matter." My thumb hovered over the end call button. I stopped mid-action as Harry spoke quietly.

"Look, I don't know you, but... you do matter. I swear." My heart swelled, a bit. I moved my hand away from the button and lifted the phone to my ear once again.

"Briana," I whispered.

"What?"

"My name's Briana," My eyes darted up to the ceiling, trying to keep the tears in.

"Well, hello Briana. Can we, maybe, talk some more another time?" I bit lip unsure of what to say.

"I'm not sure," I finally managed to answer. "Maybe that would be alright,"

"Alright, cool. Umm... yeah." Harry shouted. A small smile appeared onto my face. His awkwardness hit a chord somewhere within me.

"Harry I have to go, but I'll call you later.... okay?" I said, gently pouring the pills back into the container and putting the bottle into the cabinet.

"Ok Bria.... Goodnight" He whispered.

I smiled to myself as I ended the call. For some reason, I didn't feel like dying tonight

--_______

I laid in bed that night thinking of Harry. Was he cute? Popular? Smart? Funny? Did he go to my school? Is he from another country? I sighed happily remembering our conversation.

"Look, I don't know you, but... you do matter. I swear."

He seemed so nice and caring. I'd never met someone who would say anything close to those words. I repeated once more to myself before falling asleep.

------

The next morning, I went to school feeling slightly more positive. I felt just that little bit better. the dark cloud that seemed to follow me daily was lighter and the shadow it cast was harder to see. I took a tube of mascara out of my makeup and swiped the brush across my lashes. I added a touch of dark lipstick to my lips. I walked out of  my house and towards school, thoughts running through my head. Who knows, maybe I'll meet someone like Harry.

As I pushed open the doors to the school, I kept my head up, finding my way towards my locker. I turned my lock and opened it up, scooping the books from the bottom. Just as I straightened my posture, I felt a shove and I was knocked off balance. I leaned against the wall for support.

"Oh no! Who did that?" I heard a girl say sarcastically. A skinny girl with pink hair smirked at me. It was Klea. I hated her. She did anything to make me feel like shit. As much as I wished her words and actions didn't hurt, I couldn't find a way to tell myself that.

Klea walked up to mr, her deep blue eyes set into a squint.

"Bria tried to be pretty today. Didn't she? Who did she think she was going talk to? Hmm?" Klea slapped my cheek and then kicked me in the thigh. I groaned with pain. I fell to the ground, my eyes blurry with tears.

Is this what I get for trying to look nice? People like me don't deserve to be happy. We don't deserve to be beautiful or feel confident. The people slowly left me as I tucked my knees into my chest, crying to myself. Why am I such a fuck up?