She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

Tightrope

Last Summer I got into a funk,a rut,a hole. I got stuck,i fell into depression,almost like falling down a long spiral staircase,or into a rabbits hole,I sunk.  I sunk,and sunk,and sunk,until I hit rock bottom,and there was no where to go but up. I fell,and it felt like i almost drowned,but I didn't. I swam up to the surface and then i found land. I climbed out of the water ,and on shore i finally ran. I could breathe again. This Summer I've tried to avoid that,I've done anything a possible to keep myself from falling. I've been walking on a tight rope,using TV and poetry as my safety. Every stupid post and song that reminds me of you,I've tried to block out.  Somehow I haven't fell back down,but I'm still in a funk,I'm still in a rut,only this time this one's not depression,it's what comes after or before. This time it's war. This time it's procrastination,and laziness,and there isn't anything but distractions. This time it's like standing on the edge of a cliff,being too lazy and too tired and too unmotivated to do anything about it. This time it's like you could fall if you take one wrong step,but if you keep walking slowly,you'll get there. It's like walking on  a bridge,being scared that it'll break. It's chance that you'll make it,chance that you won't. So far i have,maybe i won't. I'm learning how to balance myself on a tightrope,most of it's chance,some of it's timing. I've fallen before,I'll be okay. This is me picking myself back up. I've got past most of this war,it's only motivation i need back,and i haven't gotten it back,i haven't,not just yet. But maybe,just maybe,if i keep on walking,if i keep on trudging forward,maybe I'll be okay,maybe I'll be fine. Maybe I'll get through this. This is the last obstacle,and then maybe I'll be happy again,and maybe,just maybe,I'll get over you,just like I've wanted to,and maybe the sun will come out again and everything will be fine. Right now it's hiding behind clouds,the storm has past,but the clouds haven't. They still hang over me,dark and gloomy occasionally,reminding me it can rain,reminding me of my unforgotten pain. Maybe soon enough,maybe,they'll finally go away,and maybe the light will stay. I'll be fine,I swear,I'm getting over you,i am,i just need another day,or two. I'm almost there,I know i am. I'm getting though,i swear i am,I've seen the light,I've seen the end of the tunnel,I'm just not there yet. For me this is a long and overdue process,but one I know too well. One I know I'll make out of alive,because this will not be the first time. I'm close to smiling although I'm crying still. I will come out of this better,i will come out of this the victor,even if you think i won't,I'll make it though. I always have,i always do,and no matter what battle you're fighting ,here's to you,because if you believe it,sometimes,just sometimes,you can too.If you need something darling,I'm here for you.