The Door, the Room, the Box and other short stories

The Door

I almost felt the cold draft of air even before I heard the creaking of the door. Only one person had a key to that door. My heart banged against my rib cage. It was so loud that I could hear it pounding in my ears. My mouth was dry and my legs were paralyzed. I sat at the edge of my bed, clinging to the sheets. My room was dark but I could still see the door. It was slightly open. I didn't want to leave the bed. But, something wanted me to. I tried to fight back. I distracted myself by observing my unkempt room. Sure, it was dark but I knew where everything was. Books littered the floor. My desk was a mess. Plates of half eaten food lay rotting. My book bag was in a corner hiding. A small strip of light came in through curtains. A stench which I had gotten used to hung over me. I could still feel it. Heavy and dark.

The door was ajar. It seemed to be coaxing me. Urging me to venture away from my safe haven. I gripped the sheets until my knuckles turned white. I looked away and stared at my feet. The soles of my feet were black and dusty like coal. My toe nails had chipped nail-varnish. I don't remember the color though. Something told me it was my favorite. My iPhone glared at me from the rug. Its shattered screen scolded me for being so reckless. I kicked it into a corner. I ran my hand through my hair.

I wrenched my legs from the floor and hugged my knees. I rocked back and forth. No, I didn't hum to myself. I never hum. I moved into a fetal position and stared at the door. Everything was silent. Silence was my friend. But she wasn't a friend in my head. Voices whispered back and forth. I couldn't hear the words but I knew what they were saying. That's why I could never sleep. Sleeping made the voices louder. Clearer. They made my head hurt. I would give anything to make them stop.

The door was coaxing me again. If I didn't know any better, I think it was mocking me. Trying to get my attention. Urging me to go out again. I didn't want to listen to it. I clamped my ears shut. I closed my eyes. It didn't help. My head began to spin. I wished for the floor to swallow me up so I wouldn't have to hear the voices. They got louder and clearer. My heart raced even though it felt like someone had a vice grip around it. My cheeks felt wet. My throat constricted. Nausea hit me. My chest hurt. It was happening again. I wanted to scream to drown out the voices. I tried to breathe but the room had no air. I wanted to curse the door but my vocabulary failed me.

I pushed myself off the bed. My knees buckled and I fell. The voices got louder than ever. My head had begun to throb. I stood up shakily and ran out the door. I ran down the stairs. Two steps at a time. Red spots danced in front my eyes. I ran out the front door and breathed in fresh air for the first time in days. I shivered. Then, everything hit me at once. Memories. I fell to my knees. I stared blankly at the dull sky. He was gone. He was no longer mine.