How To: Survive Your Bullshit

How To: Deal With Heartbreaks Part 1

There's gonna be many parts to this particular topic because there is so much to cover on it.

My books don't quite hit this subject directly on (unless we're talking about Homo which is beginning to)

Heartbreak.

Oh to be in love and yet so broken.

What I wanted to specifically talk about is commitment and the inability to. But mostly from the side that finds themselves being left or cheated on.

It usually stirs into security issues in one's self.
"Why am I not enough?"
"What could I be doing differently?"
"What's wrong with me?"

Now while some commitment and infidelity issues may comes from lack of communication of a breakdown in one....there is still no excuse.

Most of you know the well acclaimed black women/power album Lemonade which touches on the infidelity that took place in one of the most praised relationships of our generation: Beyonce and Jay Z

So this should show you: even Beyonce was cheated on.

She is seen as one of the sexiest and if not one of the greatest performers of our time. Our modern black women Michael Jackson.
Iconic. Right?

From her voluptuous curves to her delicious dance moves, everything about Beyonce has always been seen as a queen.

But she was still cheated on.

So we can scratch this one of the list. It is truly not your fault if someone is incapable of seeing your greatness. It is in no way a reflection of you.

The instant someone decides to cheat or even leave you to figure themselves out or whatever the case may be...it is still not a reflection of your self worth.

With people like that, it's not a matter of if you're pretty enough or funny enough.
It has nothing to do with you being enough.
Because they do not dictate that. One person does not determine your value. Or 3 people or 100 people. The only person who does is yourself.

It's like with rich people. You see them spend money on unnecessary items and materialistic things and say you would do differently had you had that money.

It's just money to people. In some cases, you're just a woman. Or a man. Or whatever the case may be. You may be just.
But don't let that discourage you. It shows that some people cannot handle wealth. They cannot handle commitment. So why do you reflect that back on yourself?

"They don't want to commit. What's wrong with me?"
Nothing, my beauty. Nothing.
Nothing is wrong with you.

It's a matter of taking your emotions out of that situation and viewing it from their perspective. Most cases, it's equally as fucked up as it sounds but if you can grasp the thought that "Hey, this person doesn't want me. But that doesn't mean I'm unworthy."

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done and I'm currently trying to speak this into existence myself.

I realized that I can't force somebody to love me. Just as I can't force somebody to commit to me.
And I be damned if I beg someone. I'll be damned if I beg for simplicity: commitment.

I'll be damned if I cry over the fact that someone is giving up a whole lot of love.

So you be damned if someone makes you feel less or unworthy when you know how amazing you are.
As you reflect, think about how great you are. Think about how beautiful you are.

This is when you channel those Lemonade thoughts.

'Who the FUCK do you think I is?'

'And it's such a shame you let this good love go to waste...'

Blast it all! And demand your power back. Your control over your emotions. Often times in break ups, it rocks you emotionally and you almost forget how to function. Demand more for yourself because you deserve it.

When someone cheats or leaves....don't let that make you drown in your insecurity.

And you are not by any means required to stay and wait until someone can recognize you for who you are. It doesn't mean you don't care enough or you're not trying hard enough...sometimes you have to choose you.
You have to see what's worth investing your time in. Because not everyone is gonna have their 4:44 reaction like they want.
And you should never settle.
Never let anyone make you feel bad for how you react. Never let anyone make you feel less valuable. You are worth the whole damn lot.

You are worthy enough.
You are more than enough.
You are beautiful.
You are funny.
You are sexy.
You are a light.
You're a joy to be around.
It's an honor to now you.
You are worthy of love.