Confessions of a Confused Teen

hello again

Alright I've got a bit of an issue or two.

Braxton:

He's depressed.

He even told me "you are the only reason I haven't just ended my life"

I've been trying to help him through it and I do. I really, truly help him be happy.

But, when he is at home I can't solve his family issues.

When he's hanging out with friends I can't solve the fact that they pick on him and, piss him off.

It just happens and, I can't physically stop it.

It's hard to help someone when you can't solve the problem.

He said when he is with me and when we're on the phone, he feels happy.

But, he just went away to a two week camp for boy scouts. He is going to a lot of camp sites in different states and, he doesn't get much signal.

His parents set this time limit thing on his phone to where nothing works after 10pm unless its on wifi. So, after 10 he can't text and usually after 10 he uses snapchat to talk to me but, after 10 that wont work without wifi.

During all of this, he only has small amounts of time to text me since he is busy with camp stuff.

He comes for two minutes, then leaves for three hours. Then comes back for a little, then has to go again for a long time.

It's hard on us both and, he has been so sad lately. It's just been awful for him. Now, he has to go an entire two weeks stuck with his rude friends and his dad, (his dad isn't very kind to him) and he has little contact to me, cant reach me after 10pm, can't call me, and can't physically see me until after half a month.

It's terrible. The only time I do have to text him I have to try to cheer him up and, it's very, very hard because I'm sitting here in tears knowing I can't stop anything that happens to him. I have such a short time to help him that I get him to the point of cheering up then it's ruined because he can't text anymore. It's heartbreaking seeing this and, he has only been at camp for ONE DAY.

How the hell am I supposed to get through the next two weeks 😭

(also the smoking thing never happened and, i dont plan on it ever happening)

Friends:

Very few of you stay strong with me, you know who you are. <3

Some of you say things that hurt. You don't mean to, and it's the smallest things that get to me.

I know I'm not perfect, you don't have to rub my imperfections into my face.

They're such small things. They'd wash over anybody else.

You can call me the rudest, ugliest bitch you've ever seen and, I'd laugh at you and say thanks.

But, if you call me weak, I'd let it get to me.

If you told me my nose was too big, my thighs were too fat, I had too many stretch marks, I was just a dumb blonde, that I was negative, that you thought I've had sex, sucked a dick, gave a hand job, if you thought I have done anything that I really hadn't or if you pointed out the small things I hate about myself, I'd let it get to me.

Small things stab me hard, I really wish you'd stop.

Maybe you don't even remember saying these things to me, maybe you don't even think twice after you do?

You're just teasing me about small things that you don't know are my insecurities.

I was getting less insecure and, felt like I could be me.

But, my best friends are slowly rebuilding the walls brick by brick that I have just broken down.

Every small insult is a new brick and, once I'm trapped. . .

. . .I don't know if I'll ever see the sun again.

Please, please, please. Think about what you say before you say it.

It could really help someone out.