Billdip Oneshots (Wattys2017)

Funny Text messages Part 3

Hey, yep another one, you see I just had to, it's so much fun writing these.
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Dipper's POV

Dipper- Bill, guess what?

Bill- What?

Dipper- I got kicked out of math class.

Bill- What did you do?

Dipper- The teacher asked what came after 69... mouthwash wasn't the right answer.

Bill- Well duh, the answer is clearly round 2.
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Dipper's POV

Mabel- Did you get your biology grade yet from Mr. Cipher?

Dipper- No, but I just nailed the teacher, so it better be an A or I'll be pissed.

Mabel- OMG! You're sleeping with him for a good grade??? Omfg, that's nasty!

Dipper- NOOOOOOOOOO

Dipper- OMG I EMAILED HIM NOT NAILED OMG

Mabel- Thank god. He's so hot, and you can't be taking him away from me! I want this guy bro-bro.

"Hahahaha," Mr. Cipher laughed reading my text. "So your sister still likes me eh?"

"Y-yeah," I said shyly to my secret boyfriend. Me and Mr. Cipher have been together for 2 years without anyone finding out.

"You still won't tell her I'm gay?"

"No."

"But you told her I just nailed you, which isn't a lie." He said with a smirk.

"Mr. Cipher I told her it was a typo."

"Yeah, we all know that's a big fat lie, now you should go home before I think about slamming in you again."

"You know I would love that, but I have a track and field meet tomorrow and I can't show up sore."

"Whatever you say love, see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, see you tomorrow. Love you, bye."

"Love you too." Mr. Cipher said as I walked out if his classroom.
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Dipper's POV

Dipper- I fucking hate my teacher.

Grunkle Stan- School just started, how can you possibly 'hate' a teacher already?

Dipper- He said he would never give us a test whenever he walked through the door...

Grunkle Stan- So? That's fucking awesome, my teachers always gave me test, those bitches.

Dipper- That's what I thought, but next thing I knew that smartass is coming into the classroom through the WINDOW... waving a test in our faces.

Grunkle Stan- I like this man, get this guy to work for me at the Mystery Shack and I'll DOUBLE your paycheck.

Dipper- But zero times two is still zero.

Grunkle Stan- Now is not the time to be doing math, now get that man a job at the Mystery Shack or your fired!

Dipper-*sigh* okay.
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Dipper's POV

Dipper- Grunkle Stan, can you pick me up, I got suspended.

Grunkle Stan- What did you do this time...

Dipper- Nothing, my teacher asked a simple question and I gave a simple answer.

Grunkle Stan-  What did she ask and what did you say and you're grounded.

Dipper- She said I have 5 bottles in one hand and six in another, what do I have? I said a drinking problem.