Funniest Things on Earth!

Friendship.

Note: Oh my god, this book still exists. Huh. Thought it would have wound up in oblivion by now along with all the other things I forget.

1. Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money? This number is no longer in service.

2. Good friends don't let you do stupids things...alone.

3. You don't have to be crazy to be my friend. I'll train you!

4. Today I sent out a text saying "Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?" Twelve people called me...I need smarter friends.

5. My bestfriend is not allowed to stop being my bestfriend. The bitch knows entirely too much!

6. When a friend offers you a cookie: Thank you!

When a best friend offers you a cookie: What have you done to it?

7. We all have that friend who acts innocent but knows all the dirty jokes...

8. *When I'm at home* "I want to go out, I want to make friends."

*When I'm out* "I want to go home, I hate people!"

9. Real friends don't get offended. They smile and call you something even more offensive.

10. We are best friends! Always know that when you fall, I will pick you up...after I finish laughing.