Warning: if you are triggered by mentions of self harm do not read this chapter. Other wise, enjoy!
It's been 28 days since they decided that Luke only had two months to live, and that exactly what he was doing, living.
He played every concert and he greeted the fans and hung out with them as though nothing was happening to him. It was horrible. I hadn't gone to a meet and greet since the first days after Luke left the hospital, and I had to leave that one early. I couldn't watch him do this, pretend that he was okay. It got even worse when they started the make up. Luke was starting to look like a corpse about two weeks in to the chemo. Well, the make up artists wouldn't have that, so they caked his shadowy cheeks with a powder that barely matched his pre-cancer skin tone. It made him look like he was fine, and that, was not fine.
However, he still looked amazing to me. Every night, after we were done performing, I would take him home in our van and take him up to our room. Some nights, I would kiss his face, telling him that he would always be beautiful, no matter what the chemo did to him, and other nights we would just lay there, our fingers laced together. He would place his free hand on his rib cage and look out of the sky light at the different stars that were scattered across the sky. And as he looked at them, I would inch closer to the boy I loved, making sure that he was still there. Last night was exactly like that.
Luke woke up at 11:30, which was earlier than usual for him. I came downstairs to find him sitting on the couch, staring at the wall.
"Luke," I said, trying to get his attention, "Lukey," still no answer. "Lucas!" He turned to me, and the tears began to fall from his eyes. I could tell that he had just realized that he was dying.
I scooped him up in my arms and held his frail body to my chest as he cried. The shuddering sobs were broken by his tiny, broken voice.
"M-Mikey, I w-want to g-go," was all he said.
"Lukey, go where? Where do you need to go baby?" I replied cradling his head to my chest.
"T-to see the world. O-one last time. As a band. C-could we get Calum and Ashton?" He asked. He had stopped crying but his voice was still a little shaky. I nodded, "of course we can, Lukey, we can get them right now." He nodded eagerly, and I took him upstairs. We called Calum who was currently at the hospital with Ashton.
Ashton took it hard when we broke the news of Luke's diagnosis. He hugged Luke as though he would never see him again, because he might not have, and told him sorry for every time he had teased him or called him a name. None of us knew, but Ashton had started self harming again. Calum found him unconscious on their shared bathroom floor. He took Ash to the hospital after he suffered from massive blood loss and that's where they were now. Ashton had woken up, but was still weak, and Calum was by his side every second, being the loyal boyfriend that he was.
When Calum answered he put it on speaker so that Ashton could talk.
"Hey Ash," said Luke, "h-how are your scars? I mean, um, y-you don't have to answer that if y-you don't want to." Ash giggled and Calum moved closer to him so that we could hear.
"They're better, Luke. I hear you want to take a trip around the world, they've got me on some good medicines, I can get around now and they're letting me out today. I'm all for it. But why do you want to go?"
"I wanted to take one last trip, before I won't get to do things like that anymore," I heard steps and then a couple of sobs in the distance, but Ashton kept talking so it must have been Calum who left.
"Oh Luke. I hate to break it to you, but this isn't going to be your last trip. You're stuck with us, mate, and you're gonna fight this. We're gonna fight this, together," Ash said, becoming very serious at the end.
"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, that was touching, but you don't have to be so god damn sappy. Jesus Irwin, I thought you were the tough one," Luke said, triggering two giant laughs, which must have meant that Calum came back, "but yea, I guess since you're on board..." I finally broke my silence, "LET'S DO THIS!" Calum and Ashton simultaneously yelled, "Michael!" In surprise while Luke placed a cartoony kiss on my cheek, making the "MWAH" sound just for effect.
"Let's leave the love birds two it," Calum whisper-shouted to Ashton. They hung up the phone and Luke smiled to himself.
"What are you smiling at, Hemmings?"
"Cal, Ash, us, we're really gonna do it Mikey. We're gonna prove that no matter how long you have to live, you can sure as hell have a life," he paused, "and besides, I've become really interested in stars, and now I get to see them all around the world." Luke's eyes glazed over as he began to think about the sky and all the constellations he wanted to see.
"I don't have to look for stars," Luke looked at me, confused, "because there's one right in front of me." As I finished my sentence, Luke crashed his lips into mine. Despite the chemo, he was still strong, and his force knocked me to the ground. He tasted like Nutella and I didn't want to let his lips go, but we had to breathe sometime. He laid his head on my chest and I felt his fluffy blond fringe on my collar bone and it was the most calm I head felt in weeks. He eventually fell asleep, exhausted from the long day. I sighed and whispered sweet nothings as he dreamed peacefully.
