Love, Lust and other desires

2.~• I'm not holding back •~

I'm awakened by my vibrating phone as I roll to my side.
My eyes flutter at the sudden sting the sunlight brings to them. I squint them grabbing my phone, tucked inside my pants strewn on the floor.

I quickly reply to my text after reading it, placing it on the nightstand.
Standing up I turn to see the beauty laying on the bed I just slept on.
It was one of the most endearing views I've woken up to.
I know I shouldn't feel like this.
It is forbidden and we both know it. Staring longer than I should, her sudden turn brings me back to reality.
Picking my pants and shirt up spotting them quickly, I place my phone back in my pocket after changing into them.
One last lingering look at her sleeping form and I retreat.

My thoughts quickly replaced with the act that took place in the very living room I now stand in.
This is where I told her I needed her.
Breathing out I lean down taking my jacket and shrugging it on.
I wonder if she and I will ever see each other the same way...
Not wanting our relationship to be ruined by some lustful act I can't help but feel ashamed.

Was it really shame that was taking over?
Would I really tell her that I wanted to be with her again if I felt ashamed??

That was the lust speaking last night Mark

It sure felt more right than it did wrong.
Every touch of her hand on my body, every kiss I had the privilege to savor, the way her body reacted to mine....

A sudden loud noise brings me back from my reverie and notice it's the doorbell.
The knocking now making it obvious it wasn't ringing for the first time.
I make my way to the door without hesitation. Not wanting this unannounced guest to wake Selene up, I swing the door open.
I suddenly become tense at the sight of Adriana Colbert.
Selene's friend who by the way I don't get along with.
She steps in with furrowed eyebrows and I know she's suspicious of me.
She walks past me and stands there speechless, when she suddenly spots a just awakened Selene she blurts out.

-" Ok, what's going on here?"

-" Ade...What are you doing here?" Selene asked with a slightly trembling voice.

-" Umm visiting you, I thought you'd love some soup and pills to relieve your cramps." Eyeing her suspiciously, she waits for her explanation.

-" Oh... you shouldn't have..Mark already got me some pills. He was just leaving." Well, don't mind me if I take my cue to leave. But something stops me from moving. I can't help but want to aid her clear out the whole situation before she realizes that we're lying to her.

-" Really?, than why are you wearing last night's clothes?"
She turned to me now, slightly confused.

-" Umm I bought it on our way here last night and since I was starting to feel sleepy she insisted I didn't drive alone. So I stayed on the couch. I'm leaving now. See you later Selene." I continued with her newly made up excuse not realizing the mistake I made.

Damn it why did I say couch??

She nodded at the statement and smiled at me.
Not thinking twice about it I recall my text and quickly step out of the apartment.

Keeping secrets from my friends was never an option.
Regardless of the situation they'd be the first to know, including Selene.
There are some things though, they might just not understand.

This whole night of unrestrained lust between two cousins might just qualify under that list.

I know he is a very intuitive man, he'd see right through me.
He might not be a childhood friend, but he has proven in the past 4 years of friendship to be loyal and devoted.
Never has he once stood any of his friends up, not purposely.
Unless it was absolutely necessary. Work related or family emergencies.