Impulse

The Accident

The music thumped loudly in my ears, intoxicating my body. My head smashed with the heavy drums, my hips swayed with the bass, my arms were draped around the blonde beauty standing in front of me. His milk chocolate eyes full of lust. A large smile broke across my face as I took a sip of my drink.

The blonde boys who’s name I remembered to be Alec, leaned down and kissed me. It wasn’t the kiss of a lover, but rather a frantic, impulsive, needy kiss that you could wrap yourself in. I could taste the need on his lips as he crashed his mouth to mine. At that very moment something extremely painful ripped through me. A gut wrenching pain exploded in my abdomen causing me to double over in pain, screaming out in agony.

Just as I was collecting myself my brother's girlfriend, Layla, comes running to me. She’s crying uncontrollably and she has blood all over her hands. “Emery! Emery, you have to come quick! Erik’s hurt! He was going to drive and get more beer but he swerved and crashed into a tree. There’s blood everywhere and he’s not breathing! We don’t know what to do! We called the cops, but he’s gone, I think! He’s dead!” she sobbed into my arms.

I shoved her off of me and ran outside, franticly looking for my brother. I wasn’t really sure where I was going, but I found my way to him. There was blood everywhere; the seat and dash were painted in it and he wasn’t breathing like Layla said. He sat limp in the seat of his car, his head split, face submerged in blood.

But Erik wasn’t gone. I could feel it in my bones. But the intense magnetic pull that I had to him was receding. I could just barely feel the electric pull of my twin. Tears streamed down my face as loud choking sobs broke from my chest. I pulled him into my arms rocking back and forth while crying.

I moved his hair away from his face as I tried to get him to wake up. Shaking his shoulders and calling his name. Someone, I’m not sure who, tried to touch me and I screamed pushing whoever it was away from us.

I heard the sirens of the ambulance before I saw the blue and red lights off them coming. When they reached us they made me move. They took Erik then. For some reason I let them. In my mind, I was sure they could save him. I knew he was dying, but I was sure that since it was their job to save him, they would.

They were shouting orders to one another and in the midst I asked one if I could go with him, since I was his sister. They let me and I watched as they began what I assumed to be blood transfusions among other tests. He began to convulse suddenly and something in me spazzed with him.

When we got to the hospital they refused to let me go into the operating room with Erik. Instead, I was told to sit quietly in the waiting room until someone came to see me. I called my parents who rushed over from their outing together. Within the hour they were with me, sobbing and asking doctors what was going on.

Everything that was happening didn’t seem right to me.

None of it made sense. My brother couldn’t be dying. He was my twin. He had his entire life in front of him. He was only 18. He couldn’t possibly die at that age. Not when he had so much to live for. But I could feel it. I felt the exact moment when my brothers soul left his body. I knew the precise moment he escaped this world and moved to another. I began another fit of tears falling to the floor just before the doctors came in, telling us what I already knew. My brother was gone.

Just like that.

My mother dropped to the floor with me. Crying just as badly. My father crouched down next to us, crying also, but not as much. I could see the strain in his eyes. The need to let loose the pain he felt. But I also saw the need to be strong for us. I took comfort in his being here with me.

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