Children's TV Shows Gone Wild

Dora The Explorer

Dora The Explorer is a TV show about this little girl named Dora who is allowed by her stupid mother to go outside on adventures for long periods of time with her friends, who are mostly boys. Hell, I don't even have as much freedom as Dora does, and Dora's only like 7!

On her adventures Dora always encounters Swiper the fox. Swiper is really mean and always tries to steal Dora's things. Who knows one day when Dora grows up and starts to "develop" Swiper might try to steal for viginity! The craziest thing is that she never tells her mom! Her mom doesn't even ask where she's going just usually a 'have fun' ! Swiper is a criminal and should be put in jail for stealing!

Dora's best friend Boots is really shady. All he wears is bright red boots that look like Ugs. Boots is going around nude only in his boots! His mom has to give him a slap on the side of his head. And Dora she doesn't even notice! Is she blind? Or is she like 'Yes, it's fine Boots I like it just the way it is. No need to cover it up!' Wow. That is strange. Aww or maybe Boots' family so poor and can't afford to buy clothes but they can only afford ghetto boots.
Aww that just made me really sad.

In case Dora ever gets lost on her adventures she always has a trusty map! You're probably thinking 'Wow Dora is 7 and she can read a map! I can't even read a map!' But no Dora can't read a map. Since the technology is so great wherever Dora lives her map can talk and sing! No fair! Stupid rich girl. If you're so rich why don't you offer some money to Boots' family, and maybe buy a cellphone because you're gotta to start getting into the habit of when strangers foxes come up to you swiping things to call the police. Haven't your parents ever told you about stranger danger? If they haven't they probably want you to get lost and die! Ya hear me Dora!