Everything was fake. The kisses, the moans, the smiles. Everything we did. All the time. I don't like guys heck I am not even bi. But when he asked me out the hope in his eyes I couldn't say no. I saw how depressed he gets. He cuts almost killing himself. He says only one thing can make him happy and only I know what it was.
Well I know now I coudn't reject him he would cry himself to sleep no bothering to eat or sleep. He might end himself. The guys were happy and supported us. If only they knew the truth. Not even he knew he thought I was happy. But I wasn't. Not at all.
My parents hate words I took it in to make him happy. The comments from the fans I took in to make him happy. I will never forgive myself. I liked girls not guys but what could I do about it nothing. I made him upset or broke his fragile heart I could never forgive myself at all.
Why me? I never understood I'm not special not even gay. But he thought I was and couldn't say a thing. They said if I would of said no he would still be here. But he is not and I am sorry. I guess you never no what you have till its gone.
I can't believe I went 2 years living in a lie. Everyone congratulated us he was happy. But I wasn't. Every smile was forced. Every laugh was to. But I wished they were real cause you would still be here if they were. But I was stupid and caused you to leave. Caused your fans to be cnfused and lost. Caused the Creatures to fall apart. Every series wasn't the same. Without you.
I miss my bestfriend the one who made me laugh. The one who made me smile for real. When we were bestfriends. But now because of my stupid mistake your gone forever.
If you were everything would be the same so I have to say. I am sorry to everyone. And Eddie I am sorry for this relationship being FAKE.
