When I was a senior in California High School, class of 1999, something clicked in my head. Everything went wrong. I started using drugs, doing very sexual things with anyone, and started flunking all my classes. My mom didn’t want me in the house and my dad left us when I was little. I guess all those memories that he left scarred in my head all came back to me and I started reacting. Since my mom wouldn’t let me in the house I stayed with my best friend Joey. I had to pay rent so I tried getting a job. No one would accept me because I had gauges, tattoos all over my body and long hair that covered my face. So there was no way I could pay for rent. Joey was nice enough to let me stay. I felt so bad… my life was a mess.
Joey was the only person that stayed with me; he wanted to get me back to my old self. Years have passed, it was 2014, and I was still with Joey. He would work all day, and get home to see me knocked out on the couch. He was nice enough to carry me to my bed. Sometimes he would bring a girl home and she would be disgusted to see me on his couch. I would look at his face everyday and he would look more mad each day to the point were he wouldn’t even talk to me anymore. I was just a ghost to him. It made me sad, just thinking no one really cares anymore.
One day everything changed. Joey stormed in the house angry. I was just lying on the couch watching a movie when he starts screaming.
“Shane get out of my house now! What do you want me to do, I’ve tried for too long to help and all you do is lay on that couch everyday thinking of your sad depressing life! Get out of my life you’re 25 go live your own damn life!” Those worlds felt like I got shot in the chest. Each letter was like venom streaming down my blood. I just sat there, hoping to die. I walked out the door. I hated my self so much. Walking down the street, everything was blurred from all the tears in my eyes. I walk into an alleyway and see glass on the floor. Its like the sharp glass was telling me to let the pain go away just with a few swipes. I listened.
I wake up and it’s all white. I smile to my self, thinking it’s all over. I’m finally away from the world, I can be happy. That happiness goes away when I see a nurse walk in and bandages on my wrist. Soon the room is empty just like my life. I have no one. I pull out the IV and walk out. I don’t really care if I’m fine or not I just really don’t want to be here. Walking down the hospital halls I see something in the end of it. I felt like it was bringing me towards it. I don’t even think I was walking I felt like I was floating towards it. When I finally reach it its just a silver platter. I open it and it’s a button. I thought it was dumb; a stupid button isn’t going to help me in life. During the walk back to the room I play around with it. I click it.
I’m in high school, I check the calendar on my phone and it says “September 1st, 1999” I run to a bathroom and look at the mirror. I’m amazed, short hair, clean arms, clean skin, and no piercings. I look normal. I look like an idiot running down the halls trying to find Joey. I really wanted to see his face again. I see him standing there and I start tearing up. I run up and hug him with all my might.
“Why are you so happy Shane?”
“Because my life is starting to look up.”
The day goes by fast and when school is over I run home. When I get there my mom is sitting in the living room, when I see her, I hug her and cry into her shoulders.
“Shane are you ok!”
“Yes mom, I love you so much, thanks for never leaving me like dad did.”
“Its ok honey, I’ll always be here.”
I go to Joeys house after that. We decided to have a sleep over since the first day of school was on a Friday. It was the best night of my life. Joey is the best person in the world. Nighttime came and he fell asleep on my shoulder. I Just layed there thinking, I can start over, make all the right choices. Tears were coming out of my eyes. I stared at Joeys face while he slept. He wakes up and wipes the tears off my face, we were staring into each other’s eyes, and we lean in and kiss each other.
“Oh my, Shane I’m so sorry!”
“No its ok, I love you Joey.” I stared at his deep blue eyes, “All I needed was you.”
We fell asleep in each other’s arms. Everything I ever needed in life was right next to me. Finally I was happy.
