One day, Mendel Weisenbachfeld and his tight-knit family were at the beach. Jason was complaining about some random shit like he always did because he was an edgy tween boy. Marvin was also complaining about some random shit like he always did because he was a grown-ass man with no concept of how to care for other people. Trina had a neat little towel set up underneath an umbrella, and was helping Charlotte and Cordelia rub sunscreen on people. Whizzer was nowhere to be seen.
Mendel did not know what to do. Nobody was paying attention to him. Trina was distracted now, too busy telling Jason and Marvin they needed to see a psychiatrist ("I'M a psychiatrist," Mendel reminded her again) to pay attention to her loving psychiatrist husband.
"Honey," Mendel whispered to Trina. "Do you dare me to do a cartwheel....INTO THE OCEAN?"
"What?" Trina was still distracted--Cordelia had just shoved something repulsive into her mouth. "Fine. Whatever, sure."
Mendel felt discouraged. His whole family was there, at the beach, but no one was giving him any thought.
Mendel decided he would do the cartwheel on his own, for his own pleasure. Nobody else thought this, but Mendel knew he was a pro at cartwheeling.
He readied himself, staring out at the ocean. He was wearing a speedo. He was ready.
He did the cartwheel. It fucking sucked, but Mendel thought it was awesome.
He was so caught up in his glorious cartwheel that he, nor anybody else, noticed that the lifeguard was screaming for everyone to come inland. There was a sharknado brewing offshore!
But Mendel was in too deep. He cartwheeled right into that shit, and those sharks ate him alive.
At least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Just when the whole tight-knit family noticed that Mendel just got devoured by a fucking sharknado, Whizzer showed up completely ass-naked. He had been streaking across the beach.
"What's up?" He said.
"Mendel fucking died." Trina said.
"Cool," Said Whizzer. "Wanna rub some sunscreen on my--"
And then the sharknado devoured them all.
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mendels cartwheel (heart eyes emoji)
Fanfictionwhen the tight-knit family takes a trip to the beach, mendel weisenbachfeld will do anything to get attention from them. Will he take it too far? lol this story is so random xd deadass my friend connor and i were talking about how terrible mendel is...
