Times of Change (1)

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It was January 1st of 1963. Things are going great. The Civil Rights movement is going to go places. Jean and I have been going on for about three years. I didn't think it would go very far after what happened last year. Finding out that he had a kid was something I had to think about if I was ready for. I had finally decided that having a boyfriend with a child is something I'd have to get over. I mean eventually I want kids too.

"It's time to go, Clare!" yelled my mother from downstairs.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming" I yelled as I was placing my journal inbetween the two matresses.

I stoped, looked around my room thinking that in just a few weeks, my parents are going to think that I'm at college working away at getting my teaching degree. I'll actually be joining the SNCC. I'll still be going to college, but I won't be worring about my classes. Making sure that everyone has equal rights is a better use of my time, the worrying about school.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, then I look at my door and there stands my brother, only been home a few days on leave from Vientnam, looking at me in a way that makes me feel like he knows what I'm going through. I mean he probably does with having to leave for Vietnam and all, exept that he had to go unwillingly, while I'm leaving willingly.

"It's going to be easier as time goes on. Things will seem more and more likley to get better"

"Ya, I know that I'm just wondering what will become of my room. Will it be for the baby, or will they use it as storage?" slight pause "I just hope that they don't forget about me while I'm gone."

"They didn't forget about me, did they? I don't think so because my room is still here. So they probably won't forget about you." he explains looking a little sad in the face.

"Well I bet mom and dad are wondering where we are so, lets go." I tell him to get his mind off of where he will be going in only a few short days.

*************************************

" I told you that they were going to come around, and look they are closer than when he first came home."

" I doubt that will last very long. They will be fighting by the end of the night." my husband shakes his head in dissaproval. "Why don't you just face the facts, Christine, they won't ever be as close as they were before John got drafted for the war."

"What's wrong with always hoping that things will go back to what it was before?"

"Whats wrong with that is--."

He never got to finish his sentance because the kids entered the back of the car, laughing. They seemed happy enough to me to have the possibility of reparing our families relationship with eachother. Even my relationship with my husband has been going very badly. We've been fighting alot about John being in Vietnam. About how John tells us it's going fine, but I don't believe it at all. I just want my baby back home for good where I know he's safe.

"Are you guyes ready. Alot of people are going to be so happy you're home. Now lets get going, we don't want to be late to church."

*************************************

I never thought I'de see so many people in church before. I guess they are all here to see John. I guess, in this town, you gotta see to believe.

It seemed like everyone in town decided to come to church today. The priests family was there, the librarians, the grociers, the school kids, even the new neighbors decided to show (even though they don't even know my brother, I guess they just wanted to meet him since they have a great respect for people in the military). It didn't even seem like it was a church service, instead it surrounded my brother coming home for a while and all the soldiers in Vietnam, about how good their doing and how the pastor thinks we will win the war.

My parents seem to have opposite oppinions on the war. Dad believes that we are winning the war and that John will be coming home very soon, for good. My mother, on the other hand, thinks that the war is just going to get worse, and that John will be there for a long time (which she wishes won't happen).

Church ends with many good-byes, and god-blesses. I never thought they would let us out of there, but finally the pastor said to let us go because we needed to get home to use the time that he is here to catch up with him.

We went home directly, and partied. Inviting everyone in town, again. I never understood the point of having the party when everyone already said their thanks this morning. My parents were bent on having the party though so I just went along with it and helped set up.

People started coming and the party went on. Some people made it, some didn't. Some brought gifts, some brought food. The rest just came to see John before he left again.Then there was those few people who were there because they had to, or they didn't want to miss the party of the summer (there arn't a lot of parties in a small town).

I live in the small town of Toccopola, Mississippi. Population of only 203. My grandpa moved here because there was a shop for sale and my grandma wanted to open up an antique shop, when they died they gave it to my dad. My dad realy didn't want the responsibility of keeping the shop open, so he sold it to the first offer so he could get it off of his hands. He sold it 20 years after it was given to him. I was eight years old. Everytime I go by the place, I wonder what it would look like if it was still there.

"There you are." said my mother as she started to walk up to me. "There is someone who you need to meet."

"Mom, this is a small town. So I'm pretty sure I alreay know everyone."

"Well you wouldn't know him if he just moved to town." she said with that look on her face telling you that you better go with her or she'll never let you forget it.?

"Fine, ok mom take me to meet this new guy."

"Now don't act like that. I know you'll like him." she's telling me as she grabs me by the wrist and drags me towards this mystery man.

He was tall, with dark brown hair. Light blue eyes, plad button up shirt, jeans, and (weirdly) cowboy boots.

"Well, hello. Where is it that you're moving from?"

"San Antonio, Texas." he said with a southern accent.

"Why the sudden change of enviornment?" he looked at me like he was confused. "Why did you suddenly move to the little town of Toccopola?"

"Well I just was having some problems with the people there, plus I've always wanted to live in a little town where everyone knows everyone and there arn't any secrets."

"Well everyone knowing everyone isn't always a good thing. Then your secrets are out there for everyone to know about."

"Sometimes it's nice to know everyones secrets because then it's easier to get things done because you don't have to tell anyone what you are planning to do. It makes it easier on everyone." and with that he left and went to talk to someone else. I thought that was very rude.

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