The Internship Syndrome Series: The Hot Resident Doctor (Book 1)

Chapter 14 - Alexandrine Monteverde

"If you don't fight for what you want, don't cry for what you've lost."

Alexa's POV

What a big idiot I am.

Why am I having second thoughts right now? Bakit parang pakiramdam ko hindi ko dapat sila hinayaang dalawa? Why does it feel like I just made one of the stupidest decision in my life?

Ang tanga ko. Dapat pala sumama ako. Now I'm stuck here having this sickening feeling of regret.

I just want Sophia to decide on her own, I know I have chosen the right decision but is it wise? Damn it.

I should have known, Jessa will not waste her precious time. She really is keen to have her. Hindi man lang niya hinintay ang sasabihin ko na dapat dito lang sila sa vicinity ng Hospital. Oras pa naman ng trabaho. Basta na lang niya hinila si Sophia at balak pa talaga niyang dalhin sa isang café. Ano to? Are they really going to talk or have a date? Fck. The thought just made me more regretful and a little bit uneasy.

The only reason Jessa came back here in Philippines is because of her first love and I just realized it awhile ago kung sino 'yon taong tinutukoy niya. No other than Sophia.

I thought she was just playing around awhile ago dahil baka may namataan siyang popormahan na babae at gusto niya lang magpapansin because she always likes to do that before but never did I expect na hahalikan ako ni Jessa kanina, kitang kita pa naman ng kapatid ko. Believe me, I almost punched her there kung hindi ko lang naalala na kaibigan ko siya and because I can feel that my brother is still head over heels on her. Respeto ko na lang sa kapatid ko at ayoko din kasing magmukhang bastos sa harapan ng taong responsibilidad kung bakit madalas akong mawala sa composure ko.

Jessa and I met sa US, she's a family friend. To cut the story short, my brother thought that something's going on between me and Jessa way back when we are at US, he assumed we were dating dahil sa madalas kaming lumabas na magkasama noon. I didn't have the chance to tell him the truth hanggang sa nakalimutan ko na ngang sabihin. I know, that was very irresponsible of me.

One night, I was so drunk to the point that everything is spinning. I knew Jessa was there, helping me and getting me out of trouble. Then morning came and my brother barged into my room and saw me under the sheets with Jessa. He thought that something happened between us.

Nothing happened, we were fully clothed that time too, sadyang may pagkastupid lang talaga ang kapatid ko at di man lang niya napansin 'yon. My brother really loves to assume things, we can be idiotic sometimes at hanggang sa bigla na lang kami iniwasan ni Jessa dahil ayaw niyang mag away kaming magkapatid. Alex was being beyond unreasonable that time, hindi makausap ng maayos at pabalang kung sumagot kaya napilitan akong palabasin na iniwan na ako ni Jessa since he keeps on insisting na may namamagitan sa amin, afterall it was Jessa's suggestion and which is why siguro ganon na lang ang trato ng kapatid ko kanina sakanya. Di na nga daw kami nagkaintindihan magkapatid, nakuha pa daw akong iwanan that's what my brother said. Anyway, enough of Jessa and me, let's move on sa situation ko ngayon.

God, I am so torn right now. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko and for the first time in my life, ngayon lang ako nalilito, nagagalit, mabilis maubusan ng pasensiya, pabago bago ang mood at hindi sigurado sa mga desisyon ko except when we are talking about a person's health, of course. I can feel that my walls are slowly crumbling just because of Sophia, and only because of her.

I admit, I have no idea when or how did she got into my system but I just can't let her go. Ever since she came into my life, alam kong may nagbago sa akin, magandang pagbabago at higit sa lahat I am starting to slowly open up myself to others at kung meron man hindi magandang naidulot ang pagpasok niya sa buhay ko, iyon ay natutunan kung maging selfish. Yes, I became selfish, I'm selfish when it comes to her. Ipinagdadamot ko siya sa iba.