POLY SEXUAL VEENNNTTTTTTTT AYE WADDUP

SO HAI I LOVE U

Aayyyeeeee so no one follows me, i dont follow anyone, not even my friends, i wouldnt be surprised if they found me though since i use this name for literally everything but i didnt really wanted to make this for attention, just to like, vent out about how i feel about all this

ssooooo i thought i was straight for most of my life, and apparently i act straight, since my friend always says that, but then again my other said i act completely gay and thought i was gay XD, i love my friends lol,but ive always been poly technically, i just never knew that theres a sexuality out there for it?

NO ONES GONNA SEE THIS BUT I FEEL LIKE THAT ONE PERSON WHO SAW THIS RANDOMLY IS JUDGING ME UGH

so first if newbies see this, probably not cause idk why you'd click on this but no judge, poly sexual meeeeaaannnnsssss you are attracted to like, multiple genders kinda? it differs for every person, its not like bi, boy and girl only, or lesbian, which is i only like girls and i am gal myself, it could be whatever, like you like guys, and genderfluid guys, trans guys, all dem guys u like, but maybe not girls, but u dont care if they trans,cis, whatevs, or it could be like, u like trans girls, and cis boys, and nonbinary people only, idk u do u boo, just given some examples, and if i did a bad job explaning, heres the actual definition

The attraction to multiple genders or sexes. APolysexual person is one "encompassing or characterized by many different kinds of sexuality.

you
are
WELCOME
my child

anyways back to the story that no one will ever see

anyways i never did mind dating a trans or cis guy or whatever
(o and im attracted on every single side of the male section and i am a female human being) and i never thought it was a sexuality like i said until, that fateful day
my friend
posted
so i told my mom im pan
aND SO
MONTHS PASSED
and i randomly asked
when it came up
and she answered
i asked whats the difference between bi and pan AND SHE TOLD ME

the moment she mentioned the gender part

my mind was scarred??? i was having a sexuality crisis XD i never thought the day would ever come tbh, i was COMPLETELY oblivious of the whole scale of all sexualities and genders btw so rip XD made it worse

im going to be honest and it sound SO stupid

i was wondering if i was pAN, PLEASE DONT GET THEWRONG IDEA, I DIDNT KNOW SHET ABOUT THIS, i was wondering if it automatically makes you pan if being attracted to all genders on at least one side of the sexes, and it took a week of 24 hours a day of questioning everything i did in my life

i, now know for a fact, i dont care about guys being trans or cis or a crossdresser AT ALL because of the struggle i went through, and EVEN BEFORE, I MEAN, I FELL DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH A MALE CROSSDRESSER AND HIS FEMININE SIDE MADE ME LOVE HIM MORE

i never like admitting that crossdressers, but no one i know will see this soooo CROSSDRESSERS ARE SO CUTE
I MEAN
THE GUY I MET WAS
HE WAS THE ONLY ONE IN MY EYES
i loved him so much and when i look back i just slap myself but smile a bit and how cute he was and how she showed mE or LET ME, and those dresses
fab 👌
i swear though
if he became my boyfriend, that didnt have some qualities that are not so good, and he wore a dress irl in front of me, or a skirt or something cute
i will choke on my own SOUL
i know for a fact that i will not work and it will be like getting married

idk what i even am.....

btw i think it was only him cause i kinda searched up every single version of cute innocent crossdressers guys and nothing good ever pops up....

aNYWAAYYYYSSSSS

i one day had enough and was like,"if there isnt any sexuality out there that means i like only guys and the genders dont even matter, im making up my own sexuality."

i was so fed up, i decided on that i would make up something to stop being confuzzled
until i talked to the same friend and she told me that maybe im poly sexual and wELP, I AM POLY SEXUAL SO ISNT THAT DANDY

but the thing that bothers me to this day is that i feel like people/friends think im doing it for attention, since 'i act so straight'(which BTW ISNT FAR FROM STRAIGHT IM JUST ACCEPTING IN THE GENDER CATEGORY SO MAYBE THATS FUCKING WHY) and idek anymore since i might(might) be attracted to girls too, who knew, not me

but i might not, but id be lying if i said i dont think about it a lot
it started with this picture of a CUTE AF GIRL WITH SHORT HAIR
like ive seen many, MAAANNNNYYYYYY cute girls in my days, but her
she
SHE
was the one
i had butterflies
and the second i felt them i was like
"o shet,does this mean im gay" i got even more confused XD because i actually thought she was cute and wanted to like marry her

AND IT WAS AN LGBT ACCOUNT FULL OF ADMINS AND SHE WAS ONE

idek what i am

LIFE IS SO WEIRD

but i got over her a bit when i realized that my online friend that ive been talking to for years now
MIGHT BE MY CRUSH
it slowly grew, and i finally at one point noticed when i sent her this question things and some were lovey dovey and she answered so sweetly and excited and said some things that made my heart pound hard and i just omg...
the things she SAID, i really just love her and KSKFKVKKSKKW i Feel like saying that, bUT IDK IF I DO, BUT I WANNA SAY THAT, she's...
okso the things she said that got me(besides everything tbh)
question: how would you rate me?
her:PERFECTION/10
question: what would you say if i told you i love you?
her: ILY 2 BBY
question:when do you think of me?
her: WHENEVER I WANNA SMILE
question: am i important to you?
her: VERY
question(gOT ME THE MOST OMG): what would you do if i accidentally kissed you?
her:KISS YOU BACK AND HUG YOU FOREVER

and if you are reading this, my name is Crystal Jamie Scott, and i THINK I LOVE YOU MILEY, AND MAYBE NOT SO DONT WORRY, IF YOU DONT FEEL THE SAME WASY ITS FINE WE CAN WORK IT OUT, ILL GET OVER IT IF U DONT LIKE ME BACK ITS COOL, ILL TRY TO GET OVER IT JUST DONT FEEL WEIRD, IK U DONT LIKE THESE SITUATIONS BUT ITS ALRIGHT DONT WORRY OK

oh my lord and savior why
i just
why
everything sucks
but this story isnt about that
so ill vent out more if i remember morrreeeee but anyways thats it for now, dont share but if u saw i dont mind a like or comment just dont share please, and if u know me, just, ask me about this and ill tell u
its 2:38 am
goodnight
and goodmorning :p