All Alone Except For You

All Alone

I'm never the one surrounded by friends at parties

I'm never the one everyone wants as a partner for class projects

I'm never the one people invite over to their houses

I'm never the one people stop to listen to

I'm never the one people smile at on their way to class

I'm never people's first choice as a friend

I'm the one hiding in the corner, hoping someone would want to talk to me

I'm the one that's always picked last when we get into teams

I'm the one laying there lonely in my house with nothing to do over weekend

I'm the one people interrupt without a second thought

I'm the one people pass without looking

I'm the one looking for new friends every year because the old ones left

This was me, this was who I used to be.

Up until this past school year.

I made a friend

She didn't push me to the sidelines

She didn't only choose me as a last resort

(At least I hope she didn't)

She wanted to be friends with me

And before her,

I felt like no one cared.

Before we became friends, I always felt alone

I told myself that I was alone

Loneliness seemed apart of me, something I couldn't escape

I felt loneliness most when I was surrounded by people

It's ironic really but true.

Because I knew that no one in that room cared

I knew that no one would notice me leaving.

And it hurt.

It hurt so much to be alone when you were surrounded by people who weren't.

But I lived with it

I had to.

Because I knew that if I broke,

If I couldn't handle it,

There would be nothing left for me to hold onto.

So I held it in,

I had to.

I couldn't trust my parents,

They said they were there for me but...

They never were.

So I was alone in the world,

grasping for straws.

And you know what happens then,

you start getting desperate.

So I became desperate,

looking everywhere for friends

or even someone to talk to,

someone that would listen.

I took wild shots,

sitting at random lunch tables in hope that someone would notice me,

saying hi to random people in the halls.

And still nothing.

Until this past school year,

when I finally met someone who liked me.

Someone who actually wanted to listen, to talk.

This past year has been one of the best in my life.

That friend introduced me to many others.

She got me into more Fandoms.

She gave me a new look on life.

She changed me.

So, thank you.

Thank you for changing me.

Thank you for being my friend.