The Stages Of Grief

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Too_WeirdFor_You

This is a BXB slash "novel", so if you're not a fan of the BXB category, move on with your life and hit the back arrow on the screen or your phone.

Stage 1- Denial

The days following the death and burial of (Y/N) (L/N) were absolutely horrible for young Alfred Jones. The usual sunny blonde man was dampened. However, it seemed as if he really couldn't believe that (Y/N), the love of his life, was still, cold and lifeless. The (H/C) male that was once full of life and love was now blue and dead. He couldn't sleep, no, he wouldn't sleep. Alfred was convinced that if he fell asleep then he'd miss (Y/N) coming home. Alfred didn't want to go anywhere because he wanted to be home when (Y/N) came home from work. No one else had ever seen a man so distraught. Especially since this particular man was a ray of sunshine for everyone. Alfred began to grow thin and tired from his seemingly endless waiting. It wasn't until Alfred has collapsed in his home had someone finally forced him out. Arthur was over, trying to comfort the poor guy when Alfred just doubled over in pain then fainted in front of Arthur. Arthur took Alfred to the hospital, where the doctors worked diligently to bring him back to health. Alfred ended up being discharged a month later on a strict dieting plan and eating schedule. Eventually, Alfred was able to be cleared from malnutrition and insomnia and had a clean bill of health. And, while Alfred's mind and body we're currently clear, his heart was still broken.

Stage 2- Anger

With Alfred coming to terms that (Y/N) wasn't coming back, he began to grow angry. It seemed no matter what anyone ever did, all it seemed to accomplish was pissing Alfred off. Alfred could never cease the rage in his heart. It was everyone's fault for not being there for (Y/N), for not paying attention, for not responding quick enough. No one is allowed to be happy when his love, his happiness was gone. Alfred ended up picking up a bottle. Not just any bottle, a bottle of whiskey. And he drank, and drank and drank. Soon, the bottles piled and his anger was fueled by the distortion of alcohol. While it seemed to have numbed everything for such a long time, soon he had to consume more to to return to the feeling of numbness. And that's when everyone saw he had a problem.

Stage 3- Bargaining

Alfred had eventually started to stoup lower and lower with every passing day. The "what-ifs" kept him up late at night and the "might-have-beens" made his heart break even more. He began wishing that he was the dead one, instead of (Y/N). He wanted (Y/N) to be alive and well, to be happy and smiling, to be here in his arms instead of having met his fate that rainy day. Alfred wanted to hear (Y/N) laugh one more time, to see him smile one more time and Alfred truly believed that he would give up anything to have one more moment with (Y/N).

Stage 4- Depression

Alfred then stopped wishing for his beloved to come back. Instead, he wished he could be with him again. Alfred lacked the strength and motivation to get up, to interact, to do anything. He lay in bed, the covers over his head, in the dark, crying his eyes out. Some days, he was just too tired to even cry. He stopped drinking, only because he had none in his house and he couldn't leave the house to get more. Alfred usual sky blue eyes were supposed to shine and sparkle with life... Instead, they dimmed and lost the light in them. His eyes darkened to an almost purple color and they never sparkled and they only shined when he started to cry. Alfred also started to have dark circles form underneath his eyes. His usual sun kissed skin had paled almost to the same shade of printer paper. His smile had completely disappeared and it seemed as if Alfred had forgotten how to smile. His mind was full of thoughts and memories of (Y/N). Everyone had witness the downhill spiral Alfred was thrown into and all they could really do was watch, wait and see what happens. It pained everyone in Alfred's life to have to see him destroy himself. But it also showed them just how much those two belonged together. (Y/N) and Alfred were inseperable and so madly in love since the day they met. Everyone could tell they would never leave the other and they all had bet on when they would make it official. And all it took to end Alfred's whole world was one rainy day, a fight and a broken traffic light. Alfred began to blame himself for it as well. He knew that if he and (Y/N) hadn't fought that afternoon, (Y/N) wouldn't have gotten in the car and would have never been to that intersection. And Alfred has to live with it, without (Y/N).

Stage 5- Acceptance 

Over time, things slowly began to get back to normal. People started forcing Alfred out of the house and even got him started on some meds for his medical issues. Alfred began to get out on his own, too. Alfred began to realize that there's nothing anyone could've done to prevent it from happening, because the intersection was one that (Y/N) used to get to work everyday. There was nothing that could bring him back and no matter how much Alfred wanted to be with (Y/N) again, he knew that (Y/N) would hurt to see that Alfred threw away his life for him. So, instead, Alfred did everything twice as good, twice as fast, twice as fun. Alfred began living, not only for himself, but for (Y/N) too. Everything he did was for (Y/N) to be proud of him. And slowly, Alfred began to feel whole again. Alfred was finally able to move on from that sadness and depression from losing his fiance. And Alfred was finally able to be happy.

The forgotten stage, Stage 6: Moving On-

Alfred POV

I knelt down at the head stone of my late fiance, (Y/N) (L/N), and traced the engraving on the aged granite. A small smile came into my face when I read the words scrawled on the stone, remembering the pain I had felt that day when I had to go and hand a note to the stoneman. "Alfred, the baby is asleep in the car, we'll need to go soon." My wife, Gianna said. "I'll be there in a little bit, babe. I promise I won't be too long." I smiled at her and returned it. "Tell him I said "hello". And thank him for me too." She said before returning to the car with our three sons. I turn back to the stone and smile. "Hear that? Gianna said hi. And thanks. What she's thanking you for, I'll never know. You know, we named our firstborn after you, (Y/N). I don't exactly know why she would let me, but she did. I guess, in a way, she understands how much you mean to me. You know, I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wonder what if you and I had this life instead. I know starting a family would be way different, but maybe our surrogate ended up being someone we knew. Like, what if Elizaveta or Emma agreed to be the surrogate?" I said. I laughed after a few moments of silence. "I know, what was I thinking? Those two would steal the kid. But don't worry, the hero would get back our little guy! Or maybe it would've been a girl, huh? I know you've always wanted a daughter." I stared at the stone for a few moments, the silence growing increasingly more intense. Finally, I felt my pain come back and I felt my eyes burn with tears and they fell, soaking the ground below me. "Oh god, (Y/N), I miss you. I miss you so much.... I know, it's been 5 years but I miss you as much as the day you died. I love you, (Y/N). Please be happy." I got up and dusted off my pants. I gave the stone one more look over before returning to my family and driving home. I looked in the back at my sons, all three were now sleeping. I smiled slightly at the sight. I looked over at my wife, who had also fallen asleep waiting for me to come back. I smile in content at my family. Yes, I do wonder what might have been of (Y/N) hadn't died, but I also knew that I loved my family and I wouldn't change what happened. I'll always love (Y/N), and I'll never forget him.

Third POV

What the poor sunny blonde didn't know is that (Y/N) had never truly left. (Y/N) had stayed by Alfred's side since that rainy day. When the car was hit by that semi truck, (Y/N) found himself stuck to Alfred, even in death. (Y/N) tried to apologize to Alfred, but he could never be heard. (Y/N) sat by and watched Alfred ever since that day and had seen Alfred go through everything firsthand. And he could do nothing. But, (Y/N) found solace in the fact that Alfred's son of the same name could see him and talk to him. Of course, the kid is only 2 years old, but (Y/N) was happy that someone could see him. And (Y/N) was happy that Alfred was finally able to move on, even if he still loved him. And (Y/N) has stayed by Alfred's side until the day Alfred had died. The two were overjoyed to finally meet up again and they finally got to live their happily ever after.

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