The mind eludes me.
My sadness will fade with time,
Hurt and pain are nonpermanent,
Happiness will come to those who seek it.
And seek it I did,
My soul forever grasping at the image
Of my body no longer writhing in desperation
At the thought of a better life.
My hands no longer tearing
The hair out of my scalp
As I silently scream
For mercy from myself.
My thighs and wrists
Covered in scars from razor blades
Etching into my skin
Like pen and paper.
And seek it I did,
A healthier mind, body and spirit,
Which little did I know
Was just as much a fantasy as sanity itself.
The mind eludes me
With lies and melodies
Formed from a blissful ignorance
Of years of abuse and neglect.
Happiness is but a vomitous maggot
Surviving off the clueless and sorrowful scum,
Trapped inside of the agonizing prison
Which is the everlasting thought of something more,
