The other side

The first time he hears Jimin's voice in person was in a small and cramped coffee shop that he doesn't like but sells coffee for cheap. Out of pure shock, Yoongi drops his paper cup, the hot black liquid making patterns on the floor. All eyes are on him, but he just apologizes before walking out of the cafe.

It's too much to process. It can't be him.

But Jimin's voice follows him home. It follows everywhere he goes. He listens to their call's recording over and over again (something he isn't allowed to do) and he is sure. It can't be. But it is.

It was Park Jimin's voice he heard in that cafe.

"I just don't know what to do anymore" the sweet and soft voice says through the line, too far from Yoongi to comfort. Park Jimin is out of his reach and it's heartbreaking. "It feels like I'm never going to know what happiness feels like."

Jimin has never cried, not even once. They have talked for months now, and Jimin does not cry. He sighs, like there's nothing else to be done and he is just accepting the fact that he would never be happy.

Yoongi clenches his fist over the table. Jimin doesn't deserve whatever has him sighing like it's his last day (like he has no other choice but to make it his last day). "You are talking to me though," he comforts Jimin, "doesn't that prove you are hoping for better?"

Jimin lets out a sad chuckle. "Honestly, talking to you is the only way I can fall sleep" he confesses.

"I'm glad to help you in any way I can." Yoongi says softly. But it's not enough, he wants better for Jimin, he wants happiness, and fucking sunshine and rainbows every morning for Park Jimin. He wants to make a difference in his life, he wants to make him smile and drag that happiness from deep inside him, where he knows it is buried like a treasure waiting to be found. Yoongi wants many things, so many things, for Park Jimin. He can only hope Jimin wants those same things for himself too.

He returns to the coffee shop, and the coffee is too bitter. It's watery and wrong in every way possible; a barista, who looked like they'd rather clean toilets with their mouth than smile one more time, asked for his order. He paid for his Americano and dumped his change into the tip jar. (Even if he can't help Jimin, he can still make someone else's day a bit better.)

Jimin isn't there, and it takes him another four crappy coffees on different days of the next two weeks to see him again.

On a rainy afternoon, Jimin stumbles into the cafe as soon as Yoongi sat down, the table next to him already occupied by two other guys. It was fortunate he hasn't left because of the awful weather.

He sees Jimin, with round pink cheeks, and black soft strands of hair falling over deep brown chocolate eyes that turns into crescents as soon as he walks in and looks Yoongi's way.

Yoongi panics. Crap, did he just recognize him?

He finds the answer to his question when a tall red-haired boy behind him shrieks, making Yoongi jump out of his skin.

"Jimin," he shouts, waving Jimin over,"you made it!"

The red haired boy hugs and lifts the black haired boy. Everyone stares, the spectacle earning a genuine set of giggles from Jimin. Something breaks inside Yoongi because every night he only listens to sad laughs and drawn out sighs of desperation.

Yoongi tries not to stare, he could if he wanted to (just like the everyone else in the coffee shop) but he concentrates on the open book on his table. To be honest, Yoongi has the irrational fear that if he meets Jimin's gaze, he would somehow recognize him. Jimin would realize that Yoongi knows just how broken he feels, how much he wishes to die sometimes--how many days he thought he doesn't deserve to live.

So he sips quietly, listening to Jimin talk to the red haired boy and another tall blond boy with an under-cut. Jimin is bright and animated. He makes the other two laugh. Yoongi glances at him every once in a while, trying to peek at his face. From the stares the table is gaining because of how loud they were, he is sure they wouldn't even notice.

Yoongi finishes his coffee and smoothly turns around. Jimin is hiding his laugh behind his hand and throwing his head backwards, the laugh shaking his small frame. He is beautiful, the older boy blushes as the thought settles in his mind too fast for him to process it. Yoongi looks at his watch. It's almost time to get back to the other side of the college mental health line. He closes his book and places it in his bag. Before he leaves, he looks back again and catches Jimin's eyes, crinkled in amusement. He smiles at him and appreciates the way Jimin blushes and looks away embarrassed.

Yoongi pays the cashier and walks out into the chilly night.

Jimin follows the stranger with his eyes as he leaves. Behind those intense eyes there was a type of kindness that he could not figure out. It was the same fondness Taehyung and Namjoon had in their eyes when they looked at Jimin smiling. He shrugs and keeps listening to Namjoon relay a story of how he embarrassed a teacher by correcting him during a lesson and how fucked he was for the rest of the semester.

Just when Taehyung was about to begin the story of how he got a pet raccoon during winter (that was probably because the raccoon didn't have many choices) the waitress handed Jimin another shot of his favorite caramel macchiato. "It's already paid for," is all he gets when he tells her he didn't order anything, God knows he can only afford this once every two weeks.

She hands him a napkin.

"Why are you tearing up?" Taehyung asks, concerned.

On the napkin it said, in messy handwriting:

The darkest hour is just before dawn...
Keep smiling, your beautiful soul shines when you smile.
-Yoongi