Dear Angie.

Chapter Nine

16th June 2007

Dear Angelissa,

Hello. My name is Marius Matari, and I know that Emilia has spoken a lot of me. I did not read you, for that would violate her privacy, but as I flipped the pages of her... diary, I saw my name repeated a countless number of times.

I suppose that yes, I have no right to be writing in her journal, but if she ever comes back for you, I would like her to know that I will drag her back to New York.

I do not know why she ran in the first place, but I saw the look in her eyes on Tuesday. And she never skips Chemistry. I like observing Emilia. She's fascinating. The way she moves, the way she thinks, the way she blushes.

When I was five, my father divorced my mother, and when I asked why, his reply was simple: She was getting boring, mundane. Then I asked him why he even married her in the first place. He said that she was interesting. Then he met Olivia Duval and remarried.

It is difficult for me to say any of this. It feels as though I'm betraying someone. It feels foreign. Even writing down my own emotions feels wrong. But I shall continue nevertheless.

I am infatuated with Lia. I know that this shall come to pass, just as my father's infatuation with my mother did. This was the only way that I knew how to admit such a... humiliation. I know that I shall never confess my infatuation out loud, for that would mean certain weakness, and I have always found a strange comfort in wielding a pen. 

There are many things that she does not know about Claire and I. I have known of their friendship for a long time, and I have always been curious as to how she would turn out. I caught sight of her once, when my father had just remarried Olivia. It was there that I had first met Claire and Lia. I had the distinct impression that the latter was older. There was something about her, even then, that made her stand out and seem older. That hunger to be better. 

It was highly unsettling to see someone who seemed so much like me, yet I could not bring myself to approach her. I was insecure back then, a nervous little child, before I finally participated in the family sport.

Unlike Lia, I have always loved literature. There is something about how the words came together to form a new meaning that I just found beautiful to understand. Before my mother left us for good, she used to read me a countless number of poems to send me to sleep. They never worked, but I loved hearing the soft words escape from my mother's mouth. She seemed more fragile back then. 

Once again, Angelissa, forgive me for having the difficulty to write this all down.

There was one poem that seemed to get to my mother. I loved the poem for it's ability to bring out more emotion in my mother, but I have always thought that it was ridiculous. It is a poem by the poet E.E. Cummings, titled 'Somewhere I Have Never Travelled'. It is a love poem that was buried in the back of my mind, until I met Emilia. 

Sometimes, when I look at her, the first stanza pops into my mind. 

Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond

Any experience, Your eyes have their silence:

In your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

Or which I cannot touch because they are too near

I believe that the poem speaks for itself. It is painful for me to go on expressing myself. I know that it is unusual, and Claire calls me a freak because of it. But perhaps that is why I am infatuated with Lia. Because when she feels, she is unafraid to speak, and I love her for it. 

Love. 

I correct my sentence: Because when she feels, she is unafraid to speak, and I like her for it. 

It was nice getting acquainted with you, Angie. I hope that Emilia comes back to take you back, since that would make my life much easier. So she can understand why I am unwilling and stubborn to see her run, because I do not think I can say it aloud. 

Yours Truly, 

Marius. 

17th June 2007 

Dear Angie, 

I am glad to finally have you back in my grasp. I was so stupid. How the hell could I just leave you on my dresser, carelessly? My methods or acquiring you were difficult, but now that you're back, it's worth it. Welcome to London! It's a beautiful place, truly, and my new apartment seems spacious enough. Thank God for Father's money. 

The only course left is to decide where I should go to take my finals. I feel so empty, Ang, and I'm not sure why. It's like I'm missing something. Marius has written a letter to you on the other side, but I am not going to read it. I refuse. I came here to escape weakness, and escape I did. 

But I am so curious. I need to know what Marius wrote. I need to know. Just... not now. 

I'm going to start over, and stay away from anyone who reminds me of Claire or Marius. I am going to go and continue our last findings. Marius started the idea, but I do not need him to finish it. 

Love, 

Lia

 YES! Chapter Nine is down! It was difficult trying to write in a Marius tone, really, but I'm on a roll! 

Soundtrack for this chapter: 

-Not About Angels, Birdy (official soundtrack for TFIOS :D) 

-Turning Tables, Adele

 Fabulous lyrics from Not About Angels: 

How unfair, it's just our love

Found something real that's out of touch

But if you'd searched the whole wide world

Would you dare to let it go?

Yup, totally represents their relationship ^^

Okay, so, questions of the day: 

Should Emilia bump into Lenoir Duval (from chapter One) in London, or should she just lead a solitary life in London for the next two years? 

And

Would you like more Marius point of views? And should they ever meet again, should she let Marius read her letters to Angie? And should she read Marius's letter? 

For Sarah Khoo, Augustus Waters, Joycelyn (for that fabulous Okay, can)