My Love Story

My Love Story: Prologue

I had my first crush when I was in sixth grade. I just moved to a new school. I was 12 and his name was Macaulay. I actually already knew him back then, my mom and his mom were friends. We were so shy to each other, my mom has to introduce us. My brother and I.

Growing up and moving to another state, I don't have any girlfriends. So I played with guys. Technically, my brother's friends. Macaulay is one of them. Macaulay has light olive skin, big eyes and has a really cute smile. I remember the day when he told me he liked me too, and I couldn't believe my ears.

Back then I was a very curious and nosy girl, I would annoy the heck out of them just for them to tell me who are they liked. This is one of the most facepalming moments, looking back. Truth is I was also on the chubby side, my hair and clothes wasn't managed by my mom either. I was quite a mess.

One thing from Macaulay why I wouldn't believe him is that he is a boy who likes to play around a lot, especially pranks. He teases and also quite sometime bullies too. The bad boy.

So I kept on asking and asking if it is true, then he would reply with a yes. I thought that he was going to embarrass me after, since he also knew I liked him back. I even expected him to get mad at me for bothering him so much but he didn't.

On that one recess, I went down the playground and watched them play. He was with them too. He stopped on the middle of the game, but the others went on to play. He walked towards me flashing me his famous smile, and said.

'You still don't believe me?'

I was too awestruck at his closeness, I just nodded.

I thought he was going to whisper to my ear when he placed his hands on my cheek but instead he kissed me. My heart leaped to my throat. Trying to hold down a squeal. I guess I overreacted so ran to my classroom and immediately told my friends.

The next few days, I received a gift from him, one was a flip book saying 'I love you' in the end, then I get to hug him when I accidentally hit him on the eye with a Wii remote while playing Wii-Fit in tennis-also one of the most embarrassing and facepalming moments I had.

It lasted for a few weeks then our little puppy love ended. I never thought of relationships back then, I think I don't even know what is the true meaning of relationships.

On the next few years, nothing changed with my looks. My hair style changed, got a bit taller, puberty hit and such.

I moved and was transferred to another school. I was in eighth grade . There I met my next crush. I met him or actually saw him in our orientation day. Let's just say it was kind of a "Love at first sight" thing, I already got attracted to him when I first saw him. He was Zian. He has a cute smile and laugh, he looks innocent but actually he is just shy around people he doesn't know yet.

On the first semester, we were just trying to get to know each other. He sits one seat away from mine, so when my seatmate is absent I would move my seat next to him. He is funny, smart and sometimes quite weird which is quite cute.

One time, I was playing around. Still the old me, I still loved to tease and annoy people. But not that much. I poked and poked him with a pen that wasn't mine. He got slightly "pissed" and suddenly snatched the pen away from my hands and may have broked it. I told him that it wasn't mine and its from the girl sitting in front of him, she was also quite "pissed" when she knew about it but it looked like she didn't even cared. But he still shook her chair and kept on apologizing to her until she got fed up at his non-stop disturbance and forgave him. And I think I fell for him even more. I mean a guy who won't give up to seek forgiveness. A guy with a good heart. When I thought before.

There was also another time when it was a free period and we were talking. He asked me why do I have to be so annoying but to be honest, I didn't even felt offended or something and I didn't knew I had the guts to straightly reply "Why did you have to be so cute?", that shut him up.

If you call people who mashes their crushes name to themsleves obsessed? I hate to admit but I am one of them. I mean that's straight up creepy, we weren't even together. I mash ours as 'Zialana', using my middle name. I wrote it anywhere, my books, some scrap paper-another facepalm there-and just so happends my other classmate, Laine picked one out and read it out to the whole class. Ta-Da everyone knows. Trust me it's very embarrassing and how much you wanted to deny it you couldn't. And mind you, Laine also likes Zian.

After that, in the next semester right after the long Christmas and new year holidays everything became awkward and we literally stopped talking. On the last day of school, our last lesson was a free period. I heard that he was going to move back to England since he is half british and all. Everyone was saying goodbyes, taking pictures with him, except me. I planned to say goodbye to him only when everybody leaves. But when the bell rings he and his friends walked straight out of the door, my plans thrown out of the window. I was quite heartbroken.

I swore I'll never fall for my own kind or rather my own nationality.

The next few years, I still think about him only when something reminds me of him. I usually have dreams about him that feels so real but most likely won't happen.

Laine told me she kept in touch with him. Laine and I are still good friends despite what she did the pass few years and she is one of the people I trust nowadays.

Laine told me that he found someone for him, and he is happy with her and hopefully it's his last, but even though how far the distance and how long we haven't seen or contacted each other-I know I should've gotten over him already- but when Laine said those words, my heart even broke a little.

I met another guy from school, Hayden. He is not American or British but is French. He was in a higher grade. I met him when I was a Freshman, It started when I found and added him in Facebook. My friend, Sam, was over that night, and that's when he added me back. I brought up to her that I was going to start a conversation through chat but I was just joking around. I typed "Hi" but I didn't expect her to press send for me. But because of her, It led to countless hours of chatting.

Once we chatted at night for six hours straight but he said he didn't notice the time. That night he also told me that he had a girlfriend but they only lasted for six days, barely a week. And it's his first relationship, it is her who dumped him. We were each other's first video call-that's what he said- He is actually a "player", he flirts and chats with quite a lot of girls. But there was nothing much special between us.

But I realize there is much to this world, I've been blind with my surroundings. Food has been with me throughout my life-and that's the reason why I never had a boyfriend.

So far that is all my pass experience with love, or anything related to that.

But to this day, there is this guy that gave a different feeling. A new feeling that I had never experienced, a feeling that I started to treasure, a feeling that never have I ever imagined to happen to me.

I wrote this to share to you,

My not so good Love Story.