I knew from the day we met that I was going to love him. Yeah, I know that sounds cliché but he was so gorgeous and so sweet. It wasn't love at first sight but it was an immediate attraction. I remember when I walked into that bar for the first time. I really didn't think anyone would notice me, let alone point me out like Kaiden did. He was sitting on the stage with his guitar strapped around his shoulders, singing a love song about some boy. Then he stopped and pointed at me.
"I want him on the stage! Yes, him. The cute boy with the freckles!" He said. The two security guards picked me right up and next thing I knew I was having the cutest boy in the room sing to me. After his performance we talked for hours and went back to my place. Thinking of that day made happiness bubble up inside me. He was so cute and nervous, it took him over a year of friendship to ask me out. Ah, I loved him so much.
He was my best friend, my confidence, my boyfriend and the person I looked to when I needed strength. We got in a big fight last week. He said I was too self-absorbed and I didn't put effort into our relationship, that I didn't care for him and I only cared about myself. He selpt in the other room that night, I cried for hours. I didn't understand how he could think those things. It was all my fault. I always knew I was a horrible boyfriend. For three days after that it was extremely cold between us. It was so hard.
That was a week ago. I was slowly falling asleep when I heard Kaiden crying in the other room. It had been like this since the fight. I tried to block it out and cover my ears with his old sweater that I was wearing. It lasted for another twenty minutes. I slowly got up and walked to the room, pushing lightly against the door until it creaked open. I closed my eyes and fell to my knees, gripping my ears.
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" I screamed. I could hear his sobs, I could hear the sound of the blades falling to the floor. I crawled over and laid on the bed. The sheets still smelt like him.
We had been together for years, how did I not notice? It's all my fault that he's dead, it's all my fault. If we hadn't fought, he wouldn't have taken the blade and slit his wrists. My baby.... my baby boy.... he's gone...
He died a week ago. I heard his sobs every night. I couldn't sleep. I wanted my baby back. He thought I never cared... I'll always care...
