Most Hated | k.namjoon

letting go - day6

Chung Minsun's daily routine remained the same. But she never did.

She went to her normal lectures, came back to her dorm, cooked herself a meal and studied. Something that did change was her behaviour, the change was so drastic and so abnormal that people around her instantly began to notice.

She smiled and laughed less, she no longer engaged in any social activities, much rather choosing to lock herself in her dorm room for majority of the hours. No one knew what had caused such a sudden difference in her because no one had
any knowledge of Min Yoongi.

Chung Minsun was someone known well around campus but still somehow remained very mysterious to all with her many secrets. Everywhere she went, people talked about her.

"What do you think happened to her?"

"God knows. Maybe she failed her assignment and got depressed over that or something."

"You don't have to be so rude. And you got to speak more quietly, she is right there and can probably hear you chatting rubbish."

However one change people hadn't come upon was how underneath the heavy makeup she wore, lied her red sore skin that she'd gained from the amount of crying she did every single day. Crying became as normal as breathing to Minsun, she couldn't even sleep without doing so.

Four weeks since Yoongi's death passed and people began to speculate if the reasoning behind her withdrawn nature was due to a possible health problem.

This was because numerous times in the morning seminars, lectures were interrupted with Minsun rushing out of the hall. She would run out with her hands tightly clasped over her mouth until she found herself clutching the edges of a toilet seat to relieve her stomach.

After a few days, the same thing happened throughout her day. Eventually she decided to visit a doctor about it due to her own curiosity and concerns raised by her many worried friends.

"Miss Chung Minsun," said the female doctor as she sat on her black leather chair, "You are pregnant."

Minsun gripped onto the handles of the plastic chair she sat on, as a way of controlling her body from freaking out over the news. The doctor's words began to echo in her mind, constantly until it sounded like bells violently ringing in her ears.

Her heart thumped faster against her chest and she began to wonder if the doctor could hear it.

"That can't be true," she whispered, as a sad attempt to convince herself.

"You also have Hyperemesis Gravidarum which explains your severe vomitting but don't worry, with proper medication, it will help you ease the pain."

Minsun blankly nodded as the doctor continued to explain the medical jargon which she had never heard of.

It felt weird that a human was growing inside of her. The last thing she wanted to do was care for another being when she was hardly managing to care for herself.

Minsun didn't know what to do next.

One day she would wake up determined to abort the baby but then the next day she would be against it, knowing that the baby was her last connection to Min Yoongi.

Weeks went by but it seemed as though she was losing weight rather than showing signs of pregnancy.

Anything she ate, always came 2oit of her mouth due to her severe pregnancy sickness. She was finding it increasinigly difficult to gain any bit of energy to focus on her studies.

Anytime she opened a book, her dizziness would instantly kick in. This was noticed by her teacher who invited her to a meeting.

It was to warn Minsun that her academic had consierably lowered. If she didn't do anything about it soon enough then her scholarship was at risk of being taken away.

Studying was the least of her concerns.  In fact her own life was the last thing she cared about. Her being cooped up in the small bed with a bin beside her to vomit in only fed the depression she was feeling.

Alongside her pills to combat her Hyperemesis Gravidarum, she was also given antidepressants to help fight her depression symptoms.

Minsun's growing stomach made her more afraid to leave her dorm room. Whenever she did, she wore the baggiest clothes she could find in her closet to hide her pregnancy that for sure was going to become a huge topic of discussion amongst her peers. It would worsen the attention she was already getting.

She had already gained the name of Alcoholic when she was once caught with the possession of alcohol which was against the dorm rules.

However that didn't stop her from sneaking in bottles, adding to her slowly growing collection of the beverage underneath her bed.

The pills and alcohol was the perfect combination that helped Minsun get through her day as well as help her go to sleep.

"How can a saintly person like Chung Minsun turn as crazy as she is now? That will forever remain the biggest mystery to me."

"Someone told me that she was adopted."

"Well I heard she never even got adopted. Must've been something off about her if no one wanted her."

"How did she get a scholarship then? She is in the top 1% for goodness sake!"

"Maybe cause of her pretty face, which isn't so pretty anymore."

She knew very well how much her unhealthy turn of personality was being talked about by the other students. But she had come to the point in her life where she no longer felt shame for what she would do. The only thing she felt was anger and grief.

A lot of the times she would get worn out from her endless overflow of depression. It was tiring to constantly undergo such extreme emotions especially when she was pregnant.

The only thing that made her feel slightly better was her pills and alcohol. It loosened her body and mind. Just for a short percentage of her day, she would feel like there was nothing to worry about in life. All her worries would disperse, eventually fading away into nothingness.

One night, she was drunk on her fifth bottle, completely out of her mind. With a shaky hand, she popped an anti-depressant medicine into her mouth. Followed by another one and another one. Not even allowing herself to swallow until her mouth was full. Eventually, she blacked out.

A/N: I'm updating this as I am waiting at the coach station to go to Paris lol. I'm not sure if I will be updating whilst on holiday which is the next 6 days. I might if I am not too tired.