I vaguely remember a story; a dream; a different world. And it was seemingly perfect to those naïve eyes.
You see, every girl and boy was obligated to be a certain type of person; perfect.
All men were tall with short hair and very fit. All ladies were petite and elegant with hair tied up into a perfect ponytail.
In this ‘perfect’ school, they all wore light-colored uniforms and everyone matched in every single way.
Everyone played piano or violin. Everyone’s grades were perfect. Everyone would get accepted into a college sooner or later. And everyone would live a perfect life with a perfect spouse, and perfect children.
No one ever smiled.
-
I clearly remember the first time I met you. Although it was years ago, I still do not know your name. Maybe I forgot, maybe I was afraid to ask, maybe no one ever said your name. But I remember when I shook your hand and smiled.
‘I am outcast.’
You were shorter than the rest of the boys. The tips of your hair fell a few inches beneath your collarbone. You were not skeleton thin. And you had a bright smile that could outshine the moon.
You played an electric guitar; as well as an acoustic. You didn’t care about your grades. You wore dark colors. And you had no shame.
I remember when you grasped my hand tightly and smiled back.
‘We are outcast.’
-
And I remember how we were shunned in this perfect world; we were not perfect.
All the ‘perfects’ would snicker at us when we’d do foolish things and end up laughing like two fools. They would glare. We were obstructing their way of life; and we didn’t care. We didn’t care at all.
You taught me to flip the bird to all those ‘perfect’ people.
You taught me to play guitar in public and ignore the ‘perfect’ people that glared.
You taught me that this ‘perfection’ was overrated.
You taught me to truly be happy after the life that I supposedly lived in this perfect, perfect world.
-
I remember how your laugh and bright smile could always cheer me up. I had emotions. And you had emotions. You’d play me a song to help me through the days.
This ‘perfect’ world we lived in had nothing.
But of course, like white blood cells attacking infections; the ‘perfects’ were hell-bent on getting rid of us. And you seemed to grow weary. But with your bright smile and chuckle, I would brush it off. Except your songs grew sadder.
-
I remember that one day that you told me you were sick and tired of us being shunned. The glares and words have been hurting you and picking at your brain for a while. And of course, you laughed it off. You got rid of all those thoughts and put on a façade so I wouldn’t worry more. This world was truly a sad, ugly place. I just never noticed. But I didn’t realize how much you did.
-
Unfortunately, I vaguely remember what had happened until that tragic day.
Maybe I disappeared for a while, maybe I got high, maybe I fell asleep for an awfully long time because when I woke up-
You were gone.
-
I remember when I attended your funeral in this sad, ‘perfect’ little world. I was completely dazed and shocked knowing what you had done. And sadly, the days rolled on. Without you, I was alone in a world where I was shunned for being an outcast. And I realized I still didn’t know your name.
-
It almost seemed like a century had passed by before I really woke up.
‘What I thought was perfection was actually destruction.’
