Love isn't judged by Appearance

Chapter 6

'' What's wrong with you Ma?'' Zavian asks as he plops down on the couch. I slowly sit down next to him.''What are you talking about?'' I ask while looking at my feet. I feel his eyes on me. He laughs.

''Well You're not acting yourself. Usually you joke around or hit me or something, but now you all quiet and acting all shy like you don't me.'' His words soak in and I realize that he's right. I'm usually joking around with him or we find something dumb and stupid to talk about. I shrug my shoulders.''I don't really know.''

'' Well you need to know.''

''Shut up. Mind your own hazel eyes bussiness.'' I say.

''You like my hazel eyes? Huh? You always staring at them.'' He smirks.

I roll my eyes.'' Why would you be staring back? Huh? If you know I'm always staring then why are you staring back?which means that you're staring at me!'' I cock an eyebrow at him. He burst out laughing.''Do you know how stupid that just sounded coming out your mouth!'' He smiles then adds.''Come on baby you can come up with something better than that.''

I look at him dumbfoundedly.''What are you talking about? That wasn't stupid. You're stupid.''

He cocks an eyebrow at me and shakes his head.''Naw bae that sounded pretty stupid to me.'' I realize that he's right. He wouldn't be necessarily staring back because I was staring at him first and most likely you're going to notice someone is staring at your eyes. What I said did sound stupid.I do it all the time though.I can't help it his eyes are so pretty, and he knows it. I narrow my eyes at him and he grins.

''Stop calling me Bae and Baby and all that crap.'' I say changing the subject compltely.

''How you gone change the subject like that?Plus you know you like it when I call you that. Your milk chocolate skin starts getting all pinkish and stuff. I think it's cute.''

I feel my face heating up by his words. He starts laughing.''See.''

''Whatever.'' I say throwing my hand up to his face.

''Now that's what I'm talking about. You're back to normal.'' I smile.

''So where's Mama Lindsey?'' He asks.

I shrug my shoulders.''Away at some bussiness trip.I guess. How am I supposed to know?''

''That's yo mama. You better know.''

''It's not yours so don't worry.''

''She's like a mama to me. So I will worry. Who said I was worrying in the first place?''

''Whatever and because you're getting all defensive over what I said.'' He scoots over to me and puts his arm around my shoulder.''Why you got those types of feelings towards your mama?''He asks me. I look into his hazel eyes they have softened a lil bit from their usual hard and playfulness.

''Because.''

''Because of what Genesis. Your moms is a good mama. She tries her best to satisfy you and then-'' I cut him off.

''See that's exactky the problem. She tries her best to satisfy me. I don't want satisfiaction from her. I want love from my mama. Not some machine that pleases and satisfies me.'' Tears start streaming down my face. I quickly wipe them away.''See you don't understand-'' This time he cuts me off.

''Shut up Genesis because I do understand. Don't forget who my mama is. You should be thankful that you're mama is in the right dang mind to even satisfy your ungrateful self.'' I flinch away from him. I totally forgot about his mama.''I'm so sorry Zavian. I forgot.'' I say while shaking my head.''Nothing to be sorry about you can't change her and neither can I. Only God can.'' There's an awkward silence that has passed between us and I can tell that I've made him mad, but I didn't mean to. I forgot all about his mama and her problem. How could I? I get up and leave to go to my room. I look outside my window to see Kevin and Courtney all hugged up on his car. They look so happy. I get jealous and swing my curtains shut. I want that right there so bad. I lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. How many people die looking at the ceiling. That image is printed in their eyes forever. I think about Zavian. I really liked him calling me Bae and Baby. It made me feel good. I didn't mean to make him mad or anything with the whole mom thing, but either way I still don't think he understands exactly how I'm feeling. Zavian walks into my room quietly.''Bae.'' He says. I ignore him and continue to stare at the ceiling.''Genesis look I'm not apoligizing for what I meant because I did mean it but I will apologize for what I said.'' He says. I lean up and look dead at him.''Good because I'm not apologizing for what I meant either because I meant what I said.''

''I really don't care.''

''Fine then. Get out of my room.''

He opens his mouth to speak but just then Kevin and Courtney come up the stairs laughing and talking. He looks at me and his jaw is set sternly.''Hey bro Courtney and I are fixing to go out to eat. Y'all wanna come.'' The tension between Zavian and I is so thick. Kevin looks between us. I refuse to speak, but I wouldn't mind going out to eat before I can say anything though Zavian speaks up.''Naw Bro I'm cool. I'm fixing to leave anyway.'' He steps out of my doorway and we all hear the front door slam.'' What's going on between you two?" Courtney asks. I shake my head.''Well do you wanna come with us to eat?''Kevin asks.''No so get out.'' I say. Kevin shakes his head and leaves.''Come on Courtney.'' She stays and stares at me.''Get out.'' I say while turning back around to look at the ceiling.''You should come eat.''

''No. Get out.''

''Come on Genesis. Get up before I drag you out of that bed.''

I roll my eyes.''I'm too big for you to drag.''

''Girl shut up. You must have forgot I was raised with four brothers. I'm stronger than you think.'' She says smiling. I ignore her and eventually she leaves saying,''We'll bring you something back.''

I sit there Zavian didn't have to leave. I could have just apoligized but I didn't. I feel really bad and mad at the same time. My phone starts ringing I look over to see that it's Zavian calling. I reach over and ignore it. I don't feel like talking to him right now.He leaves a voicemail, but I'll listen to it later.Is this really love because if it is then I'd rather not experience it, but then again I have to remind myself that not everything is easy at the beginning plus I never said I loved Zavian and he never said he loved me. So basically this isn't love right?