Finding Out Who I Am

All my childhood life I lived by the same boy.  We were the best of friends.  If you saw one of us you most likely saw the other one not that far behind.  This went on for years.  Evryone thought it would never change.  Including myself.  And it never did.  Until high school.

''Becca, time for school!'' my older brother, Danny yelled up the stairs.

''I'm coming!'' I called back.

I quickly threw my hair into a messy ponytail and grabbed my over sized hoody.  I rushed downstairs while pulling it over my tank top.

''Becca, don't forget your phone today,'' Danny said.

"Okay,'' I said pulling my bag over my head.  ''Toss it to me.''

"I have practice today so you'll have to watch from the bleachers,'' he said throwing my phone to me.

"I'll be fine as long as they all leave me alone this time,'' I said putting my phone in my pocket.  ''And that includes the sluts who watch you practice.''

''I'll tell them all to back off,'' he promised while putting his arm around my shoulder.  ''Now, let's get to school.''

Danny and I slipped into his silver ford mustang and took off to school.  We arrived there in the next five minutes with thirty minutes before the start of school. My brother enjoyed arriving so early so he could spend time with his friends.  I on the other hand hated it.

''Try to have a good day, Becca,'' Danny said slipping his arm around my shoulders as we walked toward the school buillding.

''Tell your friends to leave me the hell alone and I will,'' I said pulling my I-Pod  and headphones out.

"What happened?!?" Danny demanded grabbing my arm.  ''You used to hang out with Shawn and the rest of us.  Now you never even look at him!''

''Ask him!" I snapped seeing Shawn and the others coming up behind Danny.

I jerked my arm out of his grip and turned to walk away stuffing my headphones into my ears.  I blared "Last Train Home" as I walked away from them trying to ignore the stares that were following me.

I sat down on a picnic table and pulled out my sketch pad.  I flipped to the back and started drawing.  Half way through the sketch, the pad was ripped from my hands.  

I looked up to see Shawn standing there flipping through the pad.  My face burned as I looked down knowing he was seeing my pain reflected through my sketches.

''What's this?'' he asked stopping half way through the pad.

''Nothing!'' I snapped reaching for the sketch pad.

''Don't say this is nothing!'' he roared.  '' This little girl with the razor blade to her wrist is you isn't it?''

''That is none of your concern!'' I snapped.

I snatched my sketch pad out of his hands and gathered my things.  I turned to walk away but he wouldn't let me.

''Hold on one minute,'' Shawn said grabbing my arm.  ''We are going to talk.''