In The Crowd // l.h.

Do You Love Me?

Dear Luke,

                 You saved my life. I don't know how I let some seventeen year old boy I never met save me, but you did. The girls at my school are just so mean to me. But you gave me the strength.

I would like to tell you that I have no idea why they are so mean but that would be a lie. I know exactly why. It's you. Well, 5SOS to be more exact. Luke, you understand right? You were supposed to be my little secret. I want you to be successful, but everywhere but here. I had to lie. They would've made fun of me.

I made the mistake of wearing my 5SOS shirt to school today. I'm just so proud of you boys. I can still hear their voices taunting me, "I thought you said you didn't like 5-es-oh-es! Why'd you lie to us?" They talk about you, Luke. They talk about you like they personally know you. It hurts to hear them say that you're their favorite, because I know they'll never love you as much as I do.

I love you Luke. Do you love me? If you don't I understand. Look around at all the smiling faces in the crowd of any show and you'll find many girls way more beautiful than I could ever be. I know you love the fam but do you love me the way I love you?

Oh who am I kidding? You could never love me. You don't even I exist. I'm just another 'crazed fan'. I'm nothing to you but success.

I spam you every day, Luke. Do you see me? I'm there in your mentions begging for a follow. I have absolutely no hope in every getting a follow but I try anyways. My icon is a manip right now, everyone tells me that we'd be perfect together. Well not really everyone, just Ivy and Sarah. Sarah and I always talk about Lunica, that's our ship name. She says you've seen my spam but are just too afraid to follow me. I don't really believe her but I go along with it to make her happy.

I'm just so sad sometimes. You're the love of my life, my sunshine, yet you don't even know I exist. I think about you a lot, Luke. Your beautiful blue eyes, you adorable blonde hair, you're perfect. I dream of the day I finally meet you constantly. I have big hopes and I know I'll be disappointed if I ever get the chance to.

I love the idea of love letters. Being able to claim your love for another person without having to worry about awkward silences. The only way you'll ever get this is if we met, although that seems highly unlikely. Despite all these letters to come, you'll never write back. I'm going to continue writing to you Lukey. I feel so calm right now. Just putting things down on paper makes me feel so much better.

Hopefully one day you'll get this, and possibly many more letters, and maybe even write me back. I'm completely and utterly in love with you Luke Robert Hemmings. I hope one day you'll feel the same, but I know, only dream you will.

All my love,

         Anica ♡