Arranged marriage

Regrets

Six weeks ago

I just can't believe it. This is my wedding day and I'm sitting here having second thoughts. That's probably because I don't want to get married.

"You're just nervous, that is completely normal, dear."

Oh Anna, if you only knew. I looked at my best friend an saw pity in her eyes.

"Don't look at me like that" I narrowed my eyes looking at hers.

She stood up and fixed her already perfect hair.

"Look, Lena. Maybe you should give this marriage a try. You never know, it might just work."

She was a hopeless romantic. She thought that as soon as my future husband sees me he will fall madly in love with me and we will ride into the sunset. Maybe in another story. My story was a bit different. I was about to marry a guy I had never even seen. His name is Mark Jepsen and he is 7 years older than me. There was no love, no lovesick and no expectations. Just fear. That kind of fear that paralyses your body and makes you sick every time you hear something related to it. Plain blood freezing fear. I stood up and walked to the large mirror on the wall. I looked at myself. I had the most beautiful wedding gown on Earth. It was white laced long dress with a corset shaped upper part. It had a heart shaped decollete and I fell in love with it as soon as I set my eyes on it. It brought out my pale skin and made my black hair even more black. Marrying the wrong guy in the right dress. I wore massive round shaped diamond earrings which my mother wore on her wedding day.

"They brought me luck with your father."

Who was she trying to fool? Her and my father were never happy. Well, at least when they were together. They were nothing but two strangers brought together by greed and ambition. I was an unplanned project. A project who finally bore fruit. They will be happy with the fact they can continue their expensive way of life. Oh, let's not forget, they will enjoy the fact I'm miserable. My hair was lifted up in a bun, only few wisps were curled around my face, framing it. My eyes were especially green today due to the dark eyeshadow I wore.

"Yes, darling, you look absolutely stunning. Your husband will stay speechless" Anna held my shoulders and kissed my cheek.

"Stop saying that! He won't be speechless. He didn't want this! He didn't want me. He is just living up to the expectations his parents set up. This marriage is a two generations old agreement. And a stupid one if I might add. There won't be a happily ever after. Please, just stop."

I walked up and forth the room and finally sat on the bed. Why me? Out of all the girls, they chose me. Fuck it! Anna sat next to me. That pity from before grew and by now it was unbearable.

"I told you to stop looking at me like that!" I yelled in her face.

"Like what?!" she yelled back.

"Like I'm an orphan, like you feel sorry for me!"

She sighed and walked up to the window.

I felt sorry for myself. Why wouldn't she? It's a reasonable reaction considering the situation. Her best friend is acting like a psychopath on drugs. Yes, it's completely normal. What do I do now, anyway? Marry this man and live a miserable life with him or leave now and let my family down? They let me down when they sold me to him! Well, I can't think like that. I'm better than they are. What if he's really annoying? Or violent? Oh god, the possibilities are going to kill me.

I heard loud steps. Someone's stilettos were banging against the floor and approaching. And then the door opened. I saw my mother's angry, pale face.

"Where the hell are you?? Let's go! Everybody is waiting. You can't embarrass your family. Your father is on the other side of this door" she hissed pointing to the door.

"Mom, I really don't want to" I said meekly.

"Call me mother, I told you already" her voice was getting more scary and silent.

"Mother, I really don't want to marry this man. I don't know him. Isn't my happiness any of your concern?"

She shook her head.

"Think of it this way. You're doing it for the greater good" she smiled and I realized my dear mother is a witch.

"Even if it makes me miserable?" I asked as my eyes went wide open.

She came up to me a grabbed my wrist.

"Listen to me, you spoiled brat!" she hissed.

"I don't care how you feel! You have to do this! Your father and I gave you everything! It's time you pay us back! You will get your ass down and marry that man! Clear?"

"I'm going."

I gave up. I let them ruin my life once again. The strings that were firmly grasped in my hands fell. I stepped on them. This is it.

"Right now!" she yelled from the stairs.

I stepped out of the room and Anna hurried down with my mother. She did turn around, just to send a pitiful look in my direction. My father nodded and I grabbed his hand. The hotel was stunning. Everything was decorated in white and beige. I was speechless and scared at the same time as we were walking down the stairs. We came into the ballroom through big white door and everybody present turned around to see us. The music started as I was walking down the isle. My heart was bewildering in my chest. I saw the priest, Anna and a man turning his back on me. That must be him. My future husband. He didn't even bother to look the woman he was about to marry. Next to him was a handsome young man, blond hair and blue eyes. He wore a gray suit which fitted him perfectly unlike my future husband. He was in a black tuxedo looking ready for a funeral. I thought I saw a hump on his back.

I finally got up to the altar. My father let go of my hand and sat on his chair. I was on my own. I stood next to the man and the priest started talking. Oh my god, this is it. I'm about to get married to a complete stranger. I had my chance to run away and I didn't. I had the chance to save myself but I didn't. I'm here, waiting to get married. My life as I know it is officially over.