Nadine looks at her phone and does a quick calculation of the time difference between LA and the UK. It’ll be just after 6.30pm in London and she knows Cheryl’s not due on stage for a couple of hours so she takes a chance and rings Cheryl’s mobile.
After a minute or so there’s a familiar, “Hello,” the Geordie’s warm accent wrapping comfortably around her.
“Hiya. Can you talk just now?”
“Yeah, I’m just out of hair and makeup. In me dressin’ room now.”
“How are you feelin’, hun?”
“I’m brickin’ it. Nadz, I seriously don’t know if I can do this.”
This, of course, being Cheryl’s first performance as a solo artist at the Brits.
“Of course you can! Just think of it like doin’ your solo bits on tour.”
“Yeah but usually I’ve got you and girls there beside me on stage. That’s me safety blanket.”
“The girls will be there rootin’ for you though.”
“It’s not the same.”
The plaintiveness in Cheryl’s voice makes it clear that it’s not just performing on her own, not having the other girls around her, that’s making her so worked up about this. It’s the fact that there will be one noticeable absence in the audience on the night.
“I wish I could be there too.”
Between them they’d agreed that Nadine shouldn’t give up the opportunity to have a second recording session with Guy Chambers when they realised Nadine’s studio time would coincide with Cheryl’s Brits gig. Guy is very selective about whom he collaborates with and, when there’s a gap in his availability, you don’t turn him down. It was a career decision, as simple as that, yet it still makes Nadine feel disloyal somehow.
“I know. We talked about this and I’m fine with it, really,” Cheryl says. “I just miss you.”
Every time Cheryl says things like that it makes Nadine’s heart flutter so hard it’s like there’s a colony of butterflies inside her ribcage. “I’ll be back in London in a couple of days.”
“I thought you were in LA for the whole week?” the Geordie asks, confusion evident in her tone.
“Aye, well, slight change of plan.”
“Nadine.”
“What? I’ve got three days without any scheduled studio time so I thought I’d pop over to see you. Unless you’d rather I didn’t...”
“It’s not that, pet. Between TV appearances and promotion for me single we won’t exactly have much quality time together.”
Nadine sighs because she knows Cheryl’s right. It doesn’t make any sense to jump on a plane, endure jetlag, and hardly see her girlfriend when she arrives. They’d be lucky to have a few hours alone for the duration of Nadine’s stay and then she’d back on a plane again.
“Don’t be upset, please,” Cheryl says, misinterpreting Nadine’s silence.
“I’m not. I’m frustrated.” There’s a pause and she can imagine the little smirk that’s probably on Cheryl’s face. “Not like that.” Another beat and Nadine corrects herself. “Okay, yes, like that.”
“It’s the same for me. I promise you, as soon as I’ve shown me face at the after party tonight I’m headin’ straight home so we can have a very long, very in-depth talk.”
The euphemism isn’t lost on Nadine since they’ve become pretty adept at suggestive phone conversations over the past months. The first couple of times were a bit awkward but now Nadine almost, almost doesn’t get embarrassed when Cheryl describes in colourful detail just what she wants to do to her. It’s not a brilliant substitute for physically being together but these snatched moments of intimacy are enough to keep them going.
