Sanctum of Despondence

Welcoming of Death

Death.

Such a fascinating topic of discussion. So abundant yet, we have such diminutive knowledge of it. My hands swayed, gently caressing the ridged surface of the towering trees, that stood like ancient effigies whispering of the world that once was in some alternate realm where only shadows reside. The frosty winter wind whisked my coiled crimson hair as it tangled itself against the scrubby branches of the lifeless trees.

My feet dragged as I made my way towards my death, my salve and salvation. It has delivered me from pathos, from sorrow. The deepest chasms of melancholy and hate. I anesthetize grief, annihilate jealousy, obliterate rage. That those sister impulses towards joy, love, and elation are anesthetized in stride, I accept a fair sacrifice. For I embrace its unifying fullness and all that it has done to make me great.

While others fear death, I saw it as an exit towards an undiscovered zone full of possibilities. Vivid spots of sparkling light decorated the darkened sky as the trees cleared and the view of the familiar lake made itself visible. I gradually removed my shoes and hastily walked towards the murky surface. Thick white fog adorned the edge, enabling me from seeing the underlying. I hesitantly dipped my feet inside and immediately pulled it back. My breath became a hazy fog before me, as goose bumps made their way up my arms. I stifled a cough as a shiver made its way up my spine.

If I backed down now, the police would soon find me and bind me, like a caged animal wanting to be free. Without a seconds hesitation I submerged myself into the brisk waters. Pain coursed through my body as the icy water bit down against my skin until my body felt numb. I didn't bother to gulp down air, it would just mean a slower death and more time spent in this disgrace of a planet. I deliberately sunk to the bottom of the lake, my body calmed. Images of the day passed through my head, all the terror filled faces of my victims as they begged for mercy. A small smile made its way to my lips, they deserved it. If I could laugh right now, I would. Before I took their life I allowed them to ask me a single question. They were all the same. "Why?" they would ask. I would smile and present them with the same answer. "Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more. It's contrast."

My lungs burned and my heart beat with anticipation. A soft hum rang in my ears as I took in my surroundings. The bottom of the lake was dark and empty, like myself. My eyes began to shut as I welcomed death. My only friend.