Anxiety

The Beginning

Okay so, when I was 8 years old I was sent to a Doctor. This doctor sent me to another doctor. This doctor ran tests for the next 2 hours. My mom and I where sitting in the waiting room anxious as ever to here the results, but sadly when the doctor came back he had told me I had anxiety. So at this point my mom and I got me on A prescription of Medication. This was going really good for about a year and a half. So then I was 9 1/2 and we went back for my annual Appointment. When we did he told us my medications was being recalled.So he had to do tests again to see if it had gotten worse. Turns out that it did. So I was put on a different medication. That sucked. At this point when I would have panic attacks, I would almost pass out and I would claw my legs. I hated it but I took my medication and I was okay. Well I forgot because I slept late and I was in a hurry. Now mind you I am anxious already and then I didnt take my medicine. Bad idea, so as I get to school I walked in I'm the middle of a assembly and the entire school was there. I instantly start having a panic attack so I book it to the bathroom. That is the one time I passed out. I was so scared when I woke up. Well everything was not fine and I had panic attacks and all this other stuff. Well turns out it had gotten even worse. So they raise my dosage now I'm a 10 year old taking 200 mg of anxiety medicine. And I was really small so it was a lot! Well as the years went on and my anxiety gradually raised I now take 1000 mg and I am doing absolutely terrible. I feel as if I have no one. I know I have my best friend and my parents. But anxiety makes me assume the worst and get scared. I would be paranoid about everything. And then I push people away. A lot. I really wish I didnt do it. I hate it. but, I just cannot help it. I get attached to someone and then they leave and hurt me. Everyone I loved dearly. Left me a while back and that sent me in to depression. My whole life I have been independent. and alone so I just get scared. So now I just write to keep my head clear. This is a good alternative.
I think I will make it.