he is leaving soon. he leaves the sixth of august, and i don't know when i'll see him again. i don't know exactly how to feel. if i had to choose a feeling, i would choose the feeling of hurt. i love him so much, he's so perfect. i love how his smile makes him shine. how his dimples make me forget all the wrongs and focus on the rights. how his hands touch mine, intertwining. how he takes offense of silly jokes. how he imitates me. all of it. i would give up anything to see him one more time. the way his eyes darken after a kiss. the way he says i love you, princess. he makes me feel some sort of way, it's a dangerous feeling. he's amazing, i want to give him every part of me. i want to kiss him and never stop. i want to hug him until the end of time. i want to take in his scent and never forget it. i want to play with his hair and have him fall asleep in my lap. he is mine, or at least i hope he is. there isn't much to say with words how i feel towards him, but i really do feel for him. sometimes i wonder what i would be if i had never met this boy. how would i feel. would i be this attached? i guess i'll never know. the constant wondering has caused me to make a movie that repeats in my head when i think about him leaving. i would go to school like a normal student. i would giggle at a joke someone made and i would eat my school lunch with the people who are generally called friends, but we all know they aren't really rooting for you. they usually root against you. i would go home when the school bell rang at the end of the day. i would look through the couples on instagram and envy them. i would start on my homework and continue with it until dinner was called for. i would eat dinner in my room, alone. then i would continue my homework, finishing it. i would lay in bed after brushing my teeth and just think. my mind would float to all the 'what if' situations that could happen to me if someone decided to love me. the same routine would happen again and again for five days a week, for ten months. but like i said earlier, i will never know. all i do now is wait for him to reply to my snapchats and text messages. i wait for him to say i love you when there is a small ringing in my head that tells me he may not love me and that i am forcing things. but now that i've gone into detail, i'm wondering what will happen when he goes. four thousand miles away from me, at the very least. with all the attractive girls around him, i could never compete with their looks. hell, i can't compete with his ex-girlfriend's looks. she is the definition of perfect. long brown hair, a beautiful and full face. a button nose and doll-like lips. long eyelashes and pretty eyebrows. a slim figure. she's a cheerleader. i don't like her, only because i know she's better than i'll ever be and prettier in his eyes than i'll ever be. i am jealous. i hate that i am. i never get jealous, but when it comes to her, i do. my heart races when he brings her up, i just hate it. people knew about her, he bragged about her, he showed her off. where as i? no one knows about me. no friends, no family, not social media. nothing. no one. i'm his little secret to keep. but i mean i'm not sure how to react to that. i know for sure that i don't like it, but i can't do much. i never will be able to do much.
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when he left.
Romancehe left for a while. a long while and she didn't know what to do. so, to save herself, she wrote and wrote and wrote. but exactly how long did she have to write before he came back to her?
