Tortured Trust

8

I fidgeted with the bracelet on my wrist. It was meant to tell me when I needed to take my medication. My 'happy pills' as Phil said. It's just a better way of saying antidepressants really. They didn't make me feel any different.

Every pill I took only reminded me of how fucked up I really was. A constant memory of all the pain and torture I went through that I'll never forget. All the sharp or blunt objects that pierced my skin or left bruises across my body. All the hot knives and tight ropes that left cuts and burns on my arms and legs. The whip that slashed across my back and... the pain.

"Hey Jack. How are you feeling today on a scale of 1-10. One being depressed and ten being happy," a muffled voice asked. My brain was quick to forget the question as my thoughts overpowered anything in my mind.

I stared out the window with blind eyes. All my senses had failed me as I became nothing but what my thoughts told me. Worthless. I was nothing. I just got in the way and got people hurt. Mark was in hospital because I let my thoughts get the best of me.

Stupid. I didn't see how much he actually cared for me and wanted to be there. But I still pushed him away and now he'll never come back. Why would he come back after what I said to him.

Nobody. I was a nobody. I didn't exist outside of this room. I was just a ghost to all around me. Unheard and out of mind. All they saw was the shell of what I used to be; broken and shattered.

Depressed. I brought others down with my own sorrow. I've seen the way people change around me. They're afraid to be happy around me in case they hurt me but they don't know I'm already gone. They don't know what state I'm truly in.

Suicide. The last thought made all my focus turn to it. It wasn't what I was but what I should do. If I was gone then no one would have to worry about hurting my already broken emotions. They wouldn't have to be careful of what they say around me because I'd be gone.

Do it. But how? How would I find something quick and simple to kill myself with? The doctors and nurses here are careful aren't they. All but one. She works tonight. She's careless and easy to trick. A fake smile can easily pass by her as a real one. She's new and doesn't know anything about reading people faces.

Do it tonight. Get it over with. I made my decision. I wasn't going to wait until morning and miss my opportunity. I was going to do it and nothing could make me change my mind.

"Jack. Can you hear me?" That voice asked. The only voice that seemed to break through my thoughts and make me listen to it. I looked over at the familiar symbol that stood out on the cloth across Ohm's face.

"Dan wants to know how you're feeling. On a scale of 1-10. 1 being depressed and 10 being happy," Ohm said in his addictive voice. I smiled as my body relaxed and my previous thoughts swam in the back of my head. I held up both hands and showed all ten fingers. I was happy.

Mark's pov
I woke up to Felix shaking me slightly. I let out a pained groan but opened my eyes none the less. I'd been allowed to return home late last night and immediatly went to bed. I couldn't get any sleep in the uncomfortable hospital beds and it felt like heaven in my bed.

"Hey Mark. I'm just going to check up on Cry and maybe Jack too if you want," Felix said softly as to not hurt my head too much.

"Yes please. I did kinda walk out of him last I spoke to him. Tell him I'm sorry would you," I asked with a hoarse voice. It'd been a while since I'd spoken and my throat hurt. It made me question if Jack had spoken or not yet. Maybe he has.

"Alright. Do you want anything? I'm also going to the store after so if you need anything from there too," Felix said, standing up and heading to the door.

"Some painkillers for now and can you get some ice cream or chocolate. Maybe both. I need some sugar," I said, closing my eyes again. I heard him scoff and his fading footsteps.

He returned a few moments later with some pain killers and a cup of water. I took the pills and quickly downed them with a large gulp of water. I drank the rest of the cup and gave it back to Felix. He said his goodbye and I soon heard the front door close. I was glad he'd stayed to look after me really. He's a great friend.

I figured I didn't have anything good to do and decided to just get some more sleep. I got comfortable again, with as little pain as possible, and felt my eyes getting heavy. My breathing slowed and I began to drift off to sleep. Some my dreams had taken over reality and I watched all the different images travel across my darkened vision. (Yeah, dreams are weird little fuck faces)

I woke to my phone ringing and let out a groggy yawn. My body felt numb and cramped but I still forced myself to roll over and grab my phone off the bedside table. I read the blurry caller id and saw that it was Felix. I quickly answered it and put the phone up to my ear.

"What's up Felix," I greeted tiredly.

"Mark! It's urgent. You need to get ready right now. I'm coming to pick you up and bring you to the hospital," Felix's frantic voice made me more alert.

"What? But I'm fine. What's wrong?" I asked confused.

"Not you! Jack! He tried to commit suicide last night!"

Tooootally didn't forget to upload this.
Tooootally didn't do that either.