My Hands Hold My Story (Rough Draft)

Chapter Eighteen

Thankfully, breakfast was still warm when Father came out of the bedroom. The expression on his face was serious and he said nothing as he filled a plate. He carried it to the bedroom and then returned. Once the rest of us were in our seats, with Father at the head of the table, the three vacant seats were obvious.

I kept my eyes moving throughout the meal. The only thing said was when Father would tell Katie to sit still and eat. Every couple minutes, Remy would meet my gaze and send a slight smile at me. It was reassuring in an atmosphere that was full of tension.

The moment everyone was done, Father rose and left the house, no doubt to hitch up the horses. Susan, who'd kept Sam on her lap and made sure he ate, kept the two young ones occupied. I cleared the dishes and placed them in the sink.

Determined not to anger Cordelia, I set about washing them as quickly as possible. Remy once again surprised me by picking up a clean towel and drying the dishes as I rinsed the soap from them. In no time at all, the task was completed with all dishes in their place.

As I hurried to the door, I sent a glance at the closed bedroom door. Was Cordelia feeling unwell? Her belly had grown so much in the last few weeks. It was only a matter of time before I would have a new half-sibling.

I'd kept my brother's letter in my pocket, waiting for the right moment to read it. I found that moment on the way into town. Father drove the wagon, and Susan kept Katie and Sam occupied in the back. Glancing over at my father to make sure his eyes were on the road, I unfolded the paper and began to read.

Ivy,

When I think of the past couple of months, I am ashamed at how long I've let Cordelia take advantage of your presence. She has been unfair and her actions are a judgment on her.

Of course, I am not completely blameless. There is no excuse for how I have behaved since you joined us. No doubt Cordelia believed no one would stand up for you, and I should have long before this point. I don't deserve it, but will you forgive me for being selfish and uncaring when I should have been the one person you could rely on.

The point of this message is not simply to apologize to you, but to tell you that I am working on a way to provide a place for you and I, far from Cordelia. Although I hate to abandon Father, he has made his choice and I've decided it is time to make mine.

If you can endure Cordelia and Anna a little longer, I will get everything in order so that you and I can strike out on our own.

Simon

Breathing out, I lifted my gaze to where Remy was riding ahead of the wagon. Did he know about my brother's proposal? I would have to ask him.

The wagon jolted as it hit a pothole and I grabbed the edge of the seat to keep my balance. Father was, in general, careful when driving, making sure to avoid such occurrences. A glance showed that he was staring straight ahead with a worried frown on his face.

If I were to leave the ranch for wherever Simon found a place for him and I, what would it do to Father? Would he be relieved to see me gone, or would he be saddened as he had been when Simon rode away? To set up a home with just my brother had a ring of finality about it.

For me, it would be a relief to escape the judgement and unkindness of Cordelia and Anna.

Carefully, I refolded the letter and slipped it away. Such a decision could not be made on a whim. I would consider it, weigh the pros and cons as Aunt Ruth had taught me to do.

Aunt Ruth. It had been several weeks since I'd last thought of my poor aunt. Guilt made me close my eyes. Was it selfish to put what had happened behind me? Even the happy memories, few though they had been, still seemed tainted by her sudden death.