Can't Be Me

It can't be me

I'm not the one to succeed

I've always been the fuck up. Always have, always will.

I don't know how to change it, if I knew how I would've by now

But I don't and that's the problem. I

I don't know if I can do it. If I can be the child my mother wants

If I can be the girlfriend he wants me to be.

If I can be the friend they want me to be.

I don't know if I can.

I can sure as hell try but I'd be wasting my energy.

I already am wasting it by trying to do all the things I want myself to do.

I can't do it.

I mean I probably could but my mind won't let me

It's like that aggressive neighbor you had as a kid who always yelled at you for being too loud, or to secluded.

But it's not a person. It's my brain. It's in me.

I should be able to control it but I can't

I've tried but, again, I'm wasting my time by trying

I always ask myself why am I so tired all the time but then as I slowly sink into the dark thoughts of the empty highway called memory lane at 12:03 AM, I remember...

I'm still trying too hard for others and sometimes even myself. So, then I think why do I try

And I can never seem to remember why.