We've all had someone close to us die. Or have something tragic happen in the family. We've all had something happen to us that changes our lives forever. From your older brother going away to the army and getting the call that he's not coming home, to your favorite grandpa passing away from a heart attack. And let me just say that not one single day goes by without me thinking of my mother. My mom is my tragic family happening. She passed two years ago with breast cancer. We couldn't do anything about it. The doctors wouldn't do anything about it. We just have to accept the change in our life and get over it. That's what my dad told me. But I don't think I'm ready to do that quite yet.
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It started when I was in 6th grade. My mom hadn't been feeling very well the last couple of weeks, so she went to see a doctor. She came home one day and told us that she was fine, she just has the flu.
I didn't believe her for a second. I knew she didn't have the flu, but I didn't know that she had cancer. I just knew there was something that she had, I could see it in her face. The pale, sick look and her hesitation to tell us.
Then two months later, she confessed to her cancer.
"I have cancer. Breast cancer." She spit out the words like they were poison. She was looking worse. I remember that my dad stood with a stony expression on his face, not saying a word. Then slowly, the tears formed and he hugged my mom tight and said things like "it's okay" or "you'll be a survivor".
My little sister, being only one and a half, started clapping and smiling. For a moment, I hated Kaileigh. But then I remembered that she didn't know what was going on; she couldn't understand us. Kaileigh's clapping made my mom cry, because she wouldn't get to see her baby grow up.
I just sat there and hugged my mom and waited until I went to my room before the tears started flowing. I heard of people who don't have parents because they died, and I was always thankful that I had parents. I never thought it would actually happen to me, though.
I didn't tell anyone at school yet. I didn't want them to pity me. My best friend Natalie could tell something was wrong because I didn't go to school alot. I had to stay home and take care of my mom and Kaileigh while my dad was at work.
I kept telling her I was fine, that my mom just had the flu and I had to take care of Kaileigh. She wasn't buying it.
"Come on, Jenna. I know you. I know when your lying and you're lying. What's really going on? I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything." But after that, I couldn't tell her anything anymore.
I decided to tell her and by lunch time, everyone knew. And I mean EVERYONE. After that, I decided I couldn't trust her with my secrets anymore.
And of course, everyone pitied me. The teachers let me off of homework. I got first in the lunch line, and everyone gave me cards and stuff for my mom and my family telling us to stay strong and stuff. The neighbors would come over with food and toys for me and Kaileigh. Not that we needed anything. We were fine.
I didn't get mad at Natalie, though. I couldn't blame her, I guess. If it were her, I would've done the same thing because I would be looking out for her.
"Are you mad?" She asked me. I knew she was sorry and I didn't need an apology.
"No, it's okay. I would've done the same thing if it were you." She nodded and started to speak again but I cut her off; she was going to apologize. And like I said, I didn't want or need one.
"Natalie, stop. I don't need apologies. I don't even want one. There's no reason to be sorry. Don't even say your sorry about my mom because its not your fault is it? No. I don't like when people say they're sorry about my mom because its not their fault. That's kinda why I didn't want you telling anyone. I wasn't even ready to tell you, honestly. It's okay, though, because I'm not mad." I think that was a little too fast for her because she looked like she was still processing my last words.
Finally, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "It'll be okay."
I got kind of pissed off about that because after all I had said, all she had to reply to that was 'it'll be okay'. After that I just told her bye and that I won't be in school tomorrow because my dad has work.
My dad said he was trying to take off as much time as he could to take care of my mom, but I didn't think that was true. I heard him before talking to himself about not wanting to be around my mom and take care of her because he didn't want to catch cancer. I thought he was dumb because you can't "catch cancer". I think his job was more important to him than my mom.
I never confronted him or told my mom, but I still remember it happened. And I also know that he started seeing another women as soon as my mom told us. He did that because he thought she would die right away. Asshole.
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