Leo

shots

-Leos point of view-
Leo speaking
Leo thinking , details , or actions
Dean speaking
Random person speaking

After about 20 minutes of enjoying the comfort of the comedian on stage making jokes and the audience laughing I hear Dean slam his empty beer glass down. I look at him and raise an eyebrow.

You okay?

Let's do some shots!

Oh no.

Hell yeah!

What am I doing?

Aye bartender a round of shots!

This is going to hurt. My medication will react badly.

Woooo! Alright!

I throw my shot back and try to look cool as the liquor burns my throat. I sigh and look at Dean. I want to know more about him. He interests me.

Now will ya tell me what happened?

I got fired. It wasn't the best job in the world but I was happy doin' it you know? Gave me a sense of purpose....

Oh man I feel really bad for you. Trust me you'll find another one. Every heartbreak just leads you closer to that love.

Except for me. I only have thirteen months left to live. There is no way I could find someone to love me. Hell isn't that just the best? Death by lung cancer. Age twenty nine. No wife. No husband. No kids. Nothing other than a couple CD's. I don't like the way that I fill the gap. I fill it with strangers. Sleeping around with someone new every other week. Just to be in someones arms or to have someone in mine. To feel wanted. Needed. I know it's unhealthy. But it's not like I wont die anyways. Shit Dean was talking. What the hell did he say. I just nod hoping it will work. He smiles and runs a hand in his yellowish green hair.  After some small talk I find out he is from a couple streets down. I nod and smile. This is a mistake. I need to stop trying to make friends. The more people who consider me a friend....the more people that need me.....are the more people that will be hurt when I'm gone. I don't want to leave. Not them. Hurting anyone is just so.....not me. I feel my lungs give way and pain shoot in my chest. Politely declining his offer to go bar hopping I call a cab home. Nothing special. Just a normal car ride. The driver makes small talk but I stay quiet looking out the window. After paying for the service I walk up to my hotel room. Fumbling with the keys I go inside.
Hotel room bed that probably a couple hundred people have fucked in. Please embrace me in your stiff sheets and warm comforter.
I put in my nasal cannula and plop down onto the bed with a slight ooph as the bed bounces and the frame rocks. Looking up at the ceiling I feel my eyes water. No one is here so to fill the void I talk to myself.
Why do I have to die? I am so scared.....
Shit. I feel myself start crying and cold salty tears dripping down the side of my face.
I don't want anyone to miss me. But I don't want to be forgotten.
Taking a deep breath I sit up and turn on the television.  The only thing on are murder mystery shows or my little pony. Might aswell watch some bright colored poneis with the magic of friendship

Fuck it.

About five minutes of the talking ponies saying friendship four hundred million fucking god damn times I change my mind.

More death it is.

I change the chanel. After about twenty minutes of seeing people crying about the deaths of their loved ones. I once again change my mind.

That is enough television for today.

I wipe my eyes and stand up. Pulling off my oxygen supply before I start to strip. Throwing my clothes across the floor not caring sense I am the only one who would know. While running a hand in my hair I put my oxygen back in I go to the bathroom and run a hot bath.

Yay time to sit in my own germs until the water gets cold! Gah stop being so negative. Warm water. Relaxation.....loss of time. Loss of things I could be doing with my last moments left.....AH I NEED TO GET LAID TO RELIEVE SOME DAMN TENSION!

With my stupid ass I drop into the hot water not letting myself adjust. Instantly my skin turns a pinky color from heat and I wheeze and start sweating. Lean over and turn on the cold water.

Why am I speaking English? Jälva weirdo. Ja, låt mig prata engelska för ingen jävla anledning.

I laugh and lean back in the water. Yawning from the fact that it is three o clock in the morning. After about twenty minutes I fall asleep in the bath.