Beautiful? It's Curse!

Prologue: Coming Back Home

       "Baby are you really sure you want to go now? Won't you wait for us?", My Mom worriedly asked me while I'm checking my suitcases for the last time. Today is my flight going back to Korea. It's been 5 years since everything has changed, since it happened, since of what I did become now.

        Going back home was my decision, my very difficult decision. I've been thinking this for the past few months untill I came up with a hard decision. That is to man up and go back to where everything has started and face it.

        I may not fully moved on, but there's no harm in trying even though it does still hurts. I have to face it. I have to face him. I don't want to live at the shadows of the past. I don't want to live at their shadows anymore. I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to fear him. Not anymore. 5 long years is already enough.

       I nod at my Mom and smiled lightly, reassuring her that I'll be okay and not to worry about me anymore. She has tears in her eyes and my Dad keep on comforting her with his arms around her.

     "Son always remember, whatever your decisions are, keep in mind that we will always be proud of you, me, your mom and them", my Dad said and let go of my Mom to hug me. I hugged him back. Damn! They're making it difficult for me to go.

      I honestly don't want to go. But I have to. I need to. My Mom and Dad has been my comfort. My safe blanket. They are those people who never leave my side even though I don't deserve it. They've been supportive of me to whatever decisions I make even though I tend to make mistakes. They made everything to make me feel better, but still, I'm broken and they don't deserve it. They sacrificed a lot for my sake. And it's time to repay them, to return the favor. For their kindness. For their unconditional love. For their trust. For  still believing in me. For everything. Everything that I don't deserve. Not any of it.

       I know they've been sad too, but they kept it aside to make me okay, to make me feel better. They are all hiding it but I know everytime I hear sobs at their room when they all thought I'm already asleep at night. I feel sorry for them, for them. And it's all my fault. My all damn fault! If only I didn't went out that night. If only I stayed with them. If only....... If only..... But I didn't! Because I'm selfish! I'm so fucking selfish! If only I could go back in time, I'll make things right. I would take their place instead. My Mom and Dad don't have to suffer. They don't have to suffer. They don't have the need to take care of me. I don't have to be their burden.

       No one ever blamed me. They never blamed me. But I know better, and it won't changed the fact that I'm still at fault. That I was the one to blame for everything that happened, and I wanted to be blamed. But they never did. No one did.
 
       This time I'm going not because I'm leaving them. But because i have to. I have to do this for myself, for my parents, for my friends that I had neglected for a long time, and for them. I don't want to worry them anymore and I hope that when I get back, I'm all better, all normal, all more to my old self.

     "Master Taehyung, the car is ready. We have to leave now", Mr. Richards our Butler announced making my Mom to cry harder.

      "Baby you don't have to do this, you don't have to go, you don't have to go back there, you still have us, you---",

       "Hyori, honey we have to let him go", my Dad cut my Mom off as he let go of me and embrace my crying mother. "He needed to do this for himself. Sometimes there are things that even we his parents can't do something for him. It's his choice. We just have to be there if he needs us", my Dad explained.

        I'm grateful of my Dad. He is the most understanding person. When I told him about my decision, he didn't question me about it. He just allow me with understanding, and told me not to worry about them leaving behind. I can't ask for anything more than my parents. I'm just lucky to have them. But they're not lucky to have me.