In The Mix

1. itsoktonotbefine

Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop those sounds constantly played in my head as it rained outside. I stared through the window, down at the street, waiting for only God knows what. " I hated when it rained" I mumbled, "Come on, it's already October and it's still raining. I wanna go to pumpkin patch or something, anything beats being here." I let out a deep sigh. It was getting dark, "I wonder where dad is?" I frankly thought. My therapy session has been over for an hour now and he still not here I wonder where he is. I shake the thought off as I get on my phone. Scrolling and scrolling that's what I do all day. Social Media has become such a vanity to me. I set down my phone on the seat right beside me outside the waiting area as I stare off at the ceiling fan. " What a time to be alive." I chuckle. I am abruptly interrupted in my thoughts as i see a pair of head lights pull up at the drive way, "Took him about time" I grumble picking up my phone as I stand up. "Bye Miss Vlay, Have a good one" I say half way through the door. I can hear her mumbling what I think is a goodbye. Dad was on the phone as I get into the car. I whispered a silent hello, he could barely hear me, it's okay. It's been like this since mom died. He's buried himself in his work and refuses to face the problem right in front of him.Nevertheless I try to make conversation, "I think talking about mom would do us both some good Dad,it's like you don't even care about her" I say afraid of his response. Needle drop silence suddenly overwhelmed the car, the tension was so thick it started to be suffocating. Then he spat bitterly"I said don't ever bring her up, Karla. Not today, Not ever." He took a long pause like he just woke up from a trance,then he stuttered,"...I- I just need to work it out myself, i'm grieving and i'm mad at the world, at God for taking her so soon...I need her you know, can't stop think about her. I..." "Is he crying" I say as he breaks down into a puddle of tears.  I must be an asshole i thought as I console him, I brought it up and now the person I thought didn't care about mom was the one who was deeply affected by her death. He brushed my words off, "It's ok, I'm fine" he said through his tears. His famous words, the world's famous catch phrase.