Missed Connections

Chapter 58 - Fun in a Box

A little while later, Louis and I are back on the floating island and staring at the sky. Thankfully I am clad once again in my trews, if only to prevent my accidentally mooning the entire lake as I ungracefully climbed up on the rubber surface. That shit is hard to do. I have yet to make it up without looking like a cross between a beached whale and an inch worm. A naked ascent would only have left me with an unpleasant inward draft in my cooter, and I am not interested in entering queef territory. Seriously undignified.

I glance over at Louis. He looks perfectly relaxed with his head resting on the upward curve of the floatie. Silver-rimmed aviator glasses are perched on his slightly pink nose. His hair is shaggy and messy, and looks amazing. Intermittently, Louis takes a sip from his beer. The dewy condensation falls from the can onto his chest. Louis absentmindedly wipes it away leaving a small trail of sparkling water on his pectoral. Yum. I want to lick it off.

Bunny trap.

I take a sip of my cider and relish the cool crisp flavour on my tongue. It tastes like fall mornings and first frosts. Sweet to start as it rolls across my taste buds. Just enough fizz to makes it pleasant. Next comes a tartness that tweaks the salivary glands at the back of my throat just before I swallow down the golden liquid. It's perfectly refreshing. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly and it is as if the air tastes of fermented apples.

I tip the can back up to my lips, picturing how Louis looked moments ago. However, instead of having rivulets fall freely from my can, I miss my mouth and pour sticky cider down my chest. Nonplussed, I dab at my bosom slowly and take another successful mouthful.

"Alright there, luv?"

"Huh?" I asked.

"Got a bit of a drinking problem, yeah?"

"Whatever are you talking about?" I retort. As I lift the can once more, I pull my same move and dump even more cider onto my chest. Confused, I rise up to a sitting position. My head swims with the sudden rush and my ear feel like they have cotton balls stuffed in them. I scrunch my nose, the skin feels tight and stings a little when I do so. Hmm.

Louis is watching me carefully, one eyebrow raised in concern. He looks like an adorable chipmunk with his squishy cheeks and innocent expression. Smaller than the average bear in some ways, but a total wild thing. Especially in the sack. Hehehe, I giggle to myself.

"Che-che-che-Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers," I sing. "Whatever happened to that show? I was so fun. Cartoon crimes all related to cheese and whatnot. Do people even remember them?"

"Pardon?" asks Louis.

"Chip and Dale. The Disney chipmunks. They had their own show. With the foxy Gadget female mouse who was all techy and cool. She always had blue goggles on her head." I gesture to my head, miming the effect of goggles. My arms feel slow and heavy. "Why is there only ever one good female character on these shows? Sexism!" I pause, remembering. "DuckTales! The show came on after DuckTales! God I loved that show too!"

I pause again and sip my cider. "Life is like a hurricane ii-in Duckburg," I sing tentatively, trying to pull the words out from my pre-adolescent brain. "Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a Duck blur!" Gaining confidence, I start to sing loudly and wiggle my arms at my sides. "We might solve a mystery! Or re-write history! DuckTales! Woo-oooooo!"

I stop singing for a second, and take another sip of cider. This time I feel a tug at the can and I notice a set of knuckles with a tattooed 28 holding it back.

"I think you've had enough, luv."

"Not a chance! I never drink too much. Well, not unless I am playing Frappe Le Sac! But that is enough to get anyone a little..." I gesture to my ear and trace a circle with my forefinger.